Passed Away

Time is a fickle thing. Sometimes it takes forever for a second. Like when you are waiting for a bad day in work to end and that clock just won't hit the time for you to go home. Then there is the time you spend with a loved one that wants you to keep singing that, "Time in a Bottle," song.

I remember waiting for a movie to come in the theater so I could go see it and now it is on DVD. I saw the movie, ate the popcorn, and now there it is on sale already.

I am no Al Einstein, but my time and space does not seem to match any mathematical equation I know of. Like now I am sitting here writing and time is dragging on. Then I will finish, go to sleep and I time travel. I wake up hours later after some episodes of dream sequences flash on by. While I slept some poor guy on the late night third shift is wondering when his night will end. His long night and my seemingly seconds of sleep do not match up correctly as far as time goes. Time does not stop when I close my eyes but why does it seem to go faster?

Time to say Happy New Year. Funny it seems like I just said it a year or so ago!

Whew!

Christmas is finally over, unless you are Russian anyway. I was reflecting about my holiday and it went pretty well. I put a few presents on my porch and they were stolen. I do this every year. I live in a rough neighborhood and usually put some toys and stuff on my porch and wait until they get stolen. I use to give the toys to the Marines but then one year I left them on the porch and poof they were gone. Since then that is what I do. I figured out that if someone has to steal toys they needed them more that the Marine kids. So every year I put them out there and I know some poor kid got something for Christmas.

My friend got her daughter a Hannah from Montana wig. The child put it on and waved her head around like a rock singer until she got a headache. Then she took off the wig and combed it. You cannot comb or brush those wigs. The wig ended up looking like the hair on a fan after a fun night with the band. Her daughter felt really bummed but her birthday is Jan. 2 so we got her a replacement wig.

Got lots of left over food from my friends and family so I don't have to grocery shop for a good week. My nieces and nephews make sure I get the leftovers their mom cooks. Their mom, my sister, likes to experiment with dressing and pies. Unfortunately her experimentations lack the life Frankenstein had. So I sort of do them a favor by taking the leftovers. They really appreciate that.

Hope you all have a happy New Year too!

Giggles

I was bouncing around today and went over to a couple of my friends homes. My friends grandchild is a little over 1 year and he was laughing and admiring the tree. My other friends grandchild is under 1 year and she was laughing at a dancing little Christmas character with a fuzzy white hat. I felt all happy inside and had the thought that a child's laughter is what made that star glow so bright on Christmas eve. My own grandchildren fill my many cups of good cheer all year round. That is all. I just wanted to share some giggles for Christmas. Hope you hear a lot yourself.

What Holiday?

Is an ecard for the holidays OK to send to friends or is it more proper to send ones thru the mail, in envelopes, with stamps, better? I said, "Happy Holidays," to some one today and they were offended. They wanted a specific holiday greeting. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah or whatever country they are from that they are celebrating and their special religion. What is this political correctness stuff all about during the holidays? Now Seinfeld started Festivis, what is that all about and do I have to acknowledge that too? So with all this holiday confusion I have, why is just saying, "Happy Holidays," all of a sudden is not enough? The problem is with the calenders. We need a calender that has all the holidays for all the countries and all the religions listed so we know what to say and when. Maybe I could say, "Have a good day," and leave it at that. I could say, "Happy Unspecific Holiday." I like the holidays though and will probably keep saying, "Happy Holidays," and risk the negative feed back.

What is your holiday? Whatever it is I hope you have a happy one.

Bubble Gum

I have a sister that once wrote a letter to a bubble gum company that she bought a defective bubble gum. When she took the packaging off the gum she found it had a dent in it. The bubble gum looked deformed to her. So she re wrapped the gum, wrote a letter to the gum company and sent them the dented defective piece of bubble gum. The bubble gum company wrote her back apologized and sent her a whole box of bubble gum. We had enough bubble gum for almost a whole year. Unfortunately it also sent her on a quest. Ever since then whenever she gets a defective or bad product she writes to the company and hopes to get an apology and some product back. It has gotten to the point that she just sent back a package of paper napkins because they were wrinkled. She sent back a pizza because the box was flimsy and I think you get the picture. The monster was thus created and let loose.

Don't get me wrong I think it is great to complain about some things and I am proud that she does. The wrinkled napkins did kind of make me wonder. Have you a monster that was created in your house that has left it's cave?

Try Me

I have been having a great time Christmas shopping. I like going to the toy areas in all the stores. They have these great toys that have buttons that say, "Try Me." I love these things and push them all the time. Sometimes I get 3 or 4 going at once. Sure, I get funny looks from most of the adults, but the kids think it is great. Problem is which toy has the least amount of pushed buttons. I would hate to get one of these toys home and find out the button no longer works. So I pick the toy in the middle and leave the one out front to stay as the "Try Me" toy. I think more stuff should have "Try Me" buttons or some sort of way to be able to try a product before you buy it. I did get scared once by one of these toys. I bought one and when I got home the house was dark and I put down the bag to get the light. They toy went off and I thought someone was in the house and I yelled, "Hey who is there and what are you doing in my house?" I got the light on and no one was there; then I realized what had happened. Still, I like these toys. How about you?

YES

YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!

Amazing

I am having a heck of a blogging experience. I had to go thru a few new passwords and emails but hopefully I am back. This is just a little note to let you know I did not forget to blog, just could not get to it. The good news is I lost 20 lbs. I celebrated by having a double double pizza from Pizza Hut. Now I only lost about 18 lbs. Hey! What can I say old habits die hard. I am walking a mile a day. Then going back to sleep because I am depressed about my blog and cannot seem to solve this problem. My next blog will be a YES! If this post makes it and I can post my YES in celebration.

Simply Chumly too!

Seems like there is a little computer glitch and I ended up with two Simply Chumly Blogs. It had something to do with my password which seems to have pass worded on.
So hopefully you will get my continuing blog. So say hello if you want to so I know where you are. Me I am right here confused, never lost, but very bewildered.

Rewrite

I did not like my last post. I am not trying to sell anything just inform but still, I just did not like it. I am not a salesperson. I tried being a drug and alcohol counselor but felt funny charging a fee to help people. So I just do it for free and only if someone asks. Before that I tried to sell drugs but after I got them I would horde them and not tell anyone, so I decided to get sober because it was getting expensive.

I was watching the Last Book of Nostradamus and it seems that the anti-Christ will be born in the dark rift under the sign of Ophiuchus between Scorpio and Sagittarius. That is the 13 sign in Astrology. I was worried but realized I was born in October under Libra so the world is safe with me.

I also read a post that got me thinking about writing. Do people write better or worse when under pressure or a dead line. What is your opinion? Deadlines do get people to write. Me! I just like to do it when the mood suits me and I have fun at it. I'd starve if I had to do it for a living. I wrote one book and it took me 54 years. It took me 25 years to graduate college but only 4 to graduate High School. It almost took 5 but some of the teachers, like my French teacher, promised me if I would not take French III they would pass me. It took me 25 years because I was working, raising a family and going to school. Plus I drank and did a lot of drugs and went to and equal number of concerts. I was in the Coast Guard for 4 years at one point and that was a bit of a break. Anyway after 25 years I graduated with my nephew and the school told me I would graduate if I promised to not sign up for any more classes.

Such is life!

A Simply Chumly Gift For You

The title of this blog "A Simply Chumly Gift For" You is also the title of the book I just wrote and published. You can get it by checking out the AuthorHouse.com link. Type in Simply Chumly in the book section and there it will be. Or just read my blog because that is basically what I published, excerpts from this blog. So I just saved you a few bucks which also means I'll never be rich, oh well.

Anyway, here I sit with 5 and 1/3 pounds of Tootsie Rolls and not one halloweener showed up. I put out a sign Treats for Tricks. Some guy came by looking for hookers. Then I saw a few kids with costumes and yelled, "Hey I got Candy." The policeman was nice but told me I could not yell at the kids and try to attract them like that. So no treats were given out.

Sigh!

The up side is that I really like Tootsie Rolls.

Beep beep beep

It is raining out and my friends are out, sick or busy. My little apartment looks smaller for some reason today and there is nothing I want to see in the movies. So I decided to make a pizza. I took out my little tray of frozen tomatoes, cheese and sauce that is in the form of a round frozen pizza and popped it in the oven. Then I decided to check up on the blogs on my computer. Well one blog led to another and I got into reading what was going on in the blog world. Then all of a sudden I hear the beep beep beep of my smoke alarm going off. The pizza was done. Done and smoking.

I turned off the oven and fanned the smoke away from my alarm. Finally after 2 or 3 minutes it stopped. My neighbors came over because they heard the alarm, the walls are thin in this apartment, and were concerned. I explained the over done pizza and they seemed satisfied, and a little annoyed, with my false alarm.

It was fun. I got the company I needed for a little while and enjoyed my over done treat. Do you have fun with your smoke alarms too?

Across the Universe

Sometimes we come across the universe; fall into memory worm holes in time and space that take us back to times forgotten thru sights and sounds which bring forward to the minds eye the realities of the past. This happens when we watch a simple thing like a movie.

We live in a world where we can now watch our past be filmed, restored, transcribed and reintroduced into our worlds that were once lived and almost forgotten. Not too far ago man relied on his memory and told stories of things adults experienced before the birth of children. The children used their imagination and transported themselves into a fantasy past on newly paved roads of words spoken by past lives.

So today this tradition still exists but is backed up by films and recordings that are as real as rain falling on the sensitivity of ones skin.

The various ages in the seats sit before the passing images of light produced and transported by an invention called film. No film can flicker in the realities of the past events that arise in minds that are pushing aside cobwebs of "I remember" and creating pathways which are being freshly trodden by youth.

One leaves behind an amen once the theater is exited and the tangled nurons of the mind begin to reset and form the humdrum of the present. These moments of life remind us that we have crossed the universe in a darken room with flashing life images then have come back and may or not be pleased with its ending.

A thought of pot should be legal for movies like this may flash across advertisements and reflections which are also peppered with thoughts of hugs and love smoldering through out after brain residues in romantic idealism.

Speed Limited

I finally hit the speed limit of my life. I turned 55 and I am ready to enter the fast lane of life. Well maybe not the real fast lane. I noticed I drive slower when behind the wheel of my car. I even have slowed down on my motorcycle and have been enjoying the scenery more and more. So maybe I am just enjoying the speed limit. I have been working out and have increased my speed on that bike I have been riding that goes no where. That is the thing about riding those exercise bikes they get a bit boring because they do not move and there is not much to see. I enjoy walks better because I get to see trees and tiny furry animals running around. I have been noticing people who drive and are talking on their cell phones more and more. One guy was on his phone and ran a red light. Well half way. He realized he was running the light, stopped halfway thru the light backed up and then hit the car behind him. Another lady was stopped at a light. The light changed from green to red to green to red and back to green. People started to beep their horns at her. She rolled down the window and yelled, "Hey! I'm on the phone here". So then people drove around her. I thought maybe her car was broken, but then she finally drove when the light changed again to red and was on her way. I wonder sometimes about people.

Hello!

Just felt like saying Hello! Hola! Bonjour! and Howdy!

This feels like one of those, "It is going to be a good day today days." The last time I felt like this I was on cloud nine and decided to go to a local fair ground and see a demolition derby and check out some horses, cows, goats and eat lots and lots of fair junk foods. Junk foods is kind of a false statement. At fairs I eat corn, chicken, and a lot of homemade foods. The corn is my favorite. The corn people BBQ it in its natural state, then peel it when it is done and dip it in butter. Fine healthy treat I think. I had a great time and met some people I have not seen in a long time. Then after the shows I decided to go home and found out I parked in a restricted spot and ended up paying $169.00 in fines and almost got my car towed. My side view mirror got broken for some reason too!

This is what confuses me when I have one of those feeling that it is going to be a good day today. Do you have good feelings about a day and does that day turn out good or bad for you?

I do like the good feeling, but I just get anxious what the reality results will end up being.

Nutrition

I have a nutritionist. She is not happy when I visit her. My idea of foods that I think are healthy are a bit different from hers. My idea of fruit is the fruit that is baked in a pie or in ice cream like a banana split. She thinks fresh fruit is what I should eat. We settled on fruit cups. I was using the powered slim fast until she found out I was using chocolate milk instead of non-fat or skim to mix it up.

It is not her fault. I just have a hard time understanding how to eat right. I was brought up by a mother that loved to bake and cook. She was a food pusher and to her a snack or food treat eased every mental and physical pain imanagable.

I understand that one must eat right to stay healthy and I am trying to change my eating habits. It just is not as easy as I thought. I am not so excited about cooking as my mom was. I just got used to having someone cook for me that I never really bothered to cook for myself. Then I got married and my wife fell into the same trap and well, lets just say that when my mother cooked she fed the whole neighborhood.

After my mom passed my wife and I went our seperate ways. I think my mom's cooking kept us together longer than we should have, and that is another story.

New Neighbor

I am getting a new neighbor. My old neighbor moved away and I think she got married or something. I went on vacation and when I got back she was gone. I was working on my computer and I noticed a new woman in the apartment next door. She was cleaning and getting ready to move in. My man antennae was up and I had to stop and look out the window to satisfy my male curiosity. It is strange how I can sense a new woman in the neighborhood. It like sensing rain or just knowing something is going on but not knowing just what it is. I wonder if women have this same sense when a new man is around? Something inside me just awakens. Then there is the excitement and expectations of that first meeting. I almost ran out and introduced myself but I was right in the middle of a paragraph and I had to finish it first. It was too late by then and she was gone. I have to write shorter sentences in the future. I like this feeling. She is kind of pretty too. I am short and look 9 or 10 months with child. I am beginning to work out but maybe she will see me as a safe fat guy. That would be OK. I just want to be a friendly neighbor for now. Plus she looks young enough to be my daughter. Come to think of it all the women I noticed lately seem young enough to be my daughter. What is up with that? Where are all the women my age anyway? Are all women over 50 in hiding or do they notice me and really do hide? Whatever. I dream of getting a bigger apartment. The first thing I will get is a cat. The women will have to wait. Nice to be friendly though and being friendly is what I am looking forward to with my new neighbor. Who knows maybe she likes to cook and I'll get a free meal now and then. Now that is something to look forward to.

Blocked Ears

I ride a motorcycle. The wind blows thru my hair and I do not get earaches. I ride in a convertible and I do not get blocked ears. I ride with my window down in my Chevy Blazer and now I cannot hear. Why? What in the rides is different that caused my ears to get shut down?

I went to the Doc and he gave me medicine to help but I am pretty much deaf. I noticed I am calmer for some reason. Is it because I cannot hear traffic noises or children screaming or other audible distractions that occur when I have normal hearing? Does this mean that deaf people are more mellow than people that can hear?

I was with a friend the other day and he was working on a car. He had problems and was cursing the car, the tools and anything else he could curse when things went badly for him. I could not really hear him and I kind of liked it because I did not feed off his anger. It felt kind of good. I had coffee with him and his wife later on and they had an argument but I just sat there and enjoyed the coffee because I could hardly hear what was going on. I really enjoyed their company that day.

It has been kind of hot and I have a loud air conditioner. With these blocked ears I can hardly hear the air conditioner noises and I am sleeping better and am enjoying the cooler apartment more.

So in a way, my failure to put the windows up in the car and getting blocked ears turned out not to be so bad. So sometimes when bad things happen they can turn out pretty good!

Novena

Summer time I get a little lazy writing. I have been fishing in that boat I wrote about.

Anyway.

Summer time is also Novena time. Where I live there is a church, Basilica, that has a 10 day Novena. For those of you who do not know what a Novena is let me explain.

It is mostly to give old people that are close to death something to do for the next 10 days. If they survive the 10 days, they get to pray and get right with God so they can get to heaven safely. A novena usually has a Saint that is good at getting one into heaven and grants a few miracles. Although praying for the miracle of winning the lottery or winning at the local casino is not recommended but still people pray to win.

Some of the activities at the novena is of course praying and going to church. Then there are the dinners the church provides, the bus trip to get to the novena and there are candles to light and religious articles to buy. The nuns even make special bread and sell it. You get to go to confession, talk to a priest and tell him your sins and stuff, and meet a lot of other old people that have the same ailments and socialization is a big part of the novena.

The priests practice all year round doing their sermons and only the best priests get to win the honor of being the preacher for those special novena days. Usually the jokes they have are pretty good that they incorporate into their sermons. Then at the end of the novena you get the special blessing of the Saint the novena is about.

The novena is held outside, during good weather, and the little children have fun rolling around in the grass and eating Popsicles they get from the food stands.

So there it is, for 10 days you can eat, get fresh air and make arrangements to get into heaven. Parking is plentiful and you can buy a brick, put your name on it and be part of the holy walkway to get to the novena. It's fun to find your brick and show your friends too just where your brick on the walkway is.

Boat Repair

I bought myself a new old boat and trailer. Old in the sense it was made in 1978, new in the sense I never owned it before. It is an aluminum row boat and does not have one leak. The previous owners took excellent care of it. The boat trailer, well that is another story. The wheels are good, but it needed new lights and some of the trailer parts were dry rotted and had to be replaced. I had the idea to glue, instead of drilling holes, in order to attach a cleat to hold my anchor rope. Unfortunately I am not good with glue and got it on my shirt, arms, pants, face and hands. It was good glue because after I was done I drove my car and my hands stuck to the steering wheel. Only a little skin came off when I wrenched my hands free.

The anchor is an old HC fruit drink can filled with concrete. So it isn't very heavy but just good enough to hold the boat in place. Except when it is windy. Still fishing is fun for me and I am not big on catching much just enjoying the day. The oars were a little beat up. Half the paddles were missing on each oar and they were kind of dry and warped. So I decided to replace them. I was given an old electric motor with it and man I never saw anything like this thing. It is small and has a picture of Edison on it. It does work and gets me around though. Then I noticed that the car battery that was used with it did not keep the charge long. I may replace that.

Finally I got some old pants and turned them into shorts to fish in. Old things are fun to do new things to them. Any new old projects in your life?