Dear Diary

I write myself a diary and do a blog and sometimes I get them mixed up. Lately I have been blogging more than diarying. Which is close to saying I have a bowl disorder. It is more of a writing disorder though. I am in one of those writer's block moods today.
It is because I have been cursing my cursor lately. You know that little line that seems to be ahead of every letter that is typed on a computer page or link or whatever. Which is another thing that is bothering me. Why is it called a link? A page is a page because it is written on paper. A link? Now that is confusing to me since link is a golfers term. I am not hitting a little ball around when I type what I think. I pound the keys, so maybe like a boxer we could call it a ring instead of a link. I think that would make more sense. Yep! I am typing in the rink as I pound my computer keys. English and words in English and word meanings have always confused me. I was good in the bin with Ben who has been kissing Jen on her bean. Bin, Ben, Been, and Jen is not confusing to anyone else but me. Especially since Jen turned out to be a man. Which is ok with Ben but not me, even though Ben turned out to be the girl. I am not prejudice but only queezy in that man on man lip thing. Now what has that to do with English? It is that some words in the English language are considered masculine and some feminine. Where do the gay words come in? What are the gay words in English? Why do I keep getting homosexual, bisexual and heterosexual mixed up? Why can't we just be sexual? I think homo means one, bi means a couple but how many is hetero?
I'd like someone to straighten this out, but being straight offends some people. So I guess I must stay bent? Whereas getting bent is some kind of insult, which I never understood what the hell that meant either. Now I heard that English is going to be the official language of the USA. I was brought up in an Irish, German, Polish family, and neighborhood, in the wonderful state of Pennsylvania. I went to Boston and they speak different than Pennsylvanians. We have trouble with the word roof, they in Boston, have trouble parking their cars. Are dialects or southern people going to get fined or arrested for having an accent? What accent is the proper USA English one? North, South, East or West one? I guess that will be the next bill the congress or senate will have to debate an pass now. I am confused about the Turkey and Eagle also. If the Eagle is our national bird why do we have a special holiday for the Turkey? I don't want to eat an Eagle, but we should have an Eagle day. The fourth of July doesn't count because we fly flags not Eagles. It would be bad to tie an Eagle to a pole then wave it around. After re-reading this I am also convinced that maybe having writers block might have been better than writing this after all!