Friday, February 23, 2007

Certified 100% Normal.

I hate it when someone takes my picture. I hate it more when they take the picture; make Wanted Posters of it and then put it in the Post Office. I hate it because strange people point at me and make rude comments and I end up usually telling the police I have friends with a sick sense of humour. My friends do things like this, because I don't forward their stupid emails and they end up having bad luck. That is what I hate. Today anyway.

I use to work in the Mental Health field. I enjoyed being with them. Like Autistic Children. They seem to me to just live in different rooms than us, in their minds, most of the time. Sometimes you end up in the same room some times you don't. They see things differently than "normal" people that is all. Like when I tried to talk to them or something. I felt like they were seeing me as a talking pickle or something. Now who in their right mind would listen to a talking pickle? Not me. So why should they?

It is the same way with Schizophrenic type people. Like one child asked me. If I talk to God like what you call, praying. Why isn't it OK when he talks to me?

Then there is the Downs Syndrome child that thought people without round faces and eyes looked ugly and scary to him. Plus they actually got married and had babies. How could they do that to each other? He asked me once.

See. Strange but true. The old question, "Just what the hell is normal any way?" Well I sure as heck don't know. That is enough for now I got to take my Prozac, which I take while having my special smoke for my failing eyesight. Now it's time to do something special with some pictures of my friends.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Against all medical advise.

Why don't we just shorten Valentines Day to just, "Hey Honey happy V.D.!" Then give up the kisses and flowers?

Which is why I was thinking about depression.

It seems that on Holidays people get depressed. On Valentines day because they have no Valentine, on Christmas because their family hates them, or on Presidents day because their credit cards are maxed out. Whatever, people get depressed.

It is because of this I think we need an official National Depression Day. We can't call it a holiday because holidays are suppose to be fun. So maybe we can call it a Un-holiday or Non-holiday.
To make it legal we can just call it a National Sick Day, or Breakdown Day or some kind of Mental Breakdown Day.

On this day we should recognize depression and make the most of it. Stay in bed all day, unless staying in bed makes us happy. So we need to do things that make us depressed all day. Now this may sound like it is against all medical advise, and it is. But, I think there could be benefits. Like after being depressed for 24 hours, maybe the day after the Depression Day might make us think. Well today has to be better than being depressed for 24 hours. It is just a thought.

What if I was going somewhere and someone else got there before I did. What if I did not know the person who got there first? That would make me wonder, "Did they go there for the same reason or some other reason?" They might be wondering something too.

Well that just makes me think that if the Depression Day doesn't work out maybe the Paranoia day would.

Monday, February 05, 2007

WYOU for You

The Super Bowl is over and I was watching Criminal Minds on CBS. I got involved in the show and then right when the last few minutes of the show was ready to end. The local TV Station, that advertises WYOU is the Station for You, cut off the ending of Criminal Minds and switched to a local show that people called in to vote for their favorite Super Bowl commercial. It was worse than the time I was right at the peak of a sex act when I found out we parked on train tracks and a train was coming instead of me or her.

So in an apology to David Letterman, but in honor of CBS I wrote the Top 10 things that should be done to the people that cut off the last few minutes of Criminal Minds.

10. Terminate the idots without any severance pay.
9. Transfer them to the Weather Channel.
8. Make them inventory products on one of those 24-hour shows that sells things.
7. They cannot have any more Texas Wieners or pizza for lunch.
(Big things for lunch in my area.)
6. They cannot turn right on a red light when driving.
5. They must be displayed in a stockade in front of the CBS building.
4. Make them ride the Subways in NY wearing only a thong.
3. Have them clean the false teeth for all employees of CBS for 1 year.
2. Make them watch all the Super Bowl commercials from Super Bowl I to
Super Bowl XLI, XLI times.
1. Have them die horrible deaths on all the CSI shows.

If you can think of more feel free to add on. I would not have been so mad but I am a Raiders fan and it was tough enough watching the game without them. Then to cut off Criminal Minds, sorry ref throws a big red flag to WYOU on this one.