Friday, April 27, 2007


I had a UFO happen to me the other day. That is an Unforeseen Frantic Occurrence.
I was in a doctors office and was getting ready for a procedure to be done on me. I had my x-rays done, blood tests etc. all done. The last thing I had to do was see Charlie, the nurse who was suppose to do the last test on me. Nothing important just measure my eyes for the cataract procedure that was to be done on me. Dr. Darlene told me to sit in a chair and wait for Charlie; he would be right out. After a few minutes Charlie came out smiled at me while he waved to the other nurses in the hallway then disappeared.

After a few more minutes I felt kind of strange sitting there. Another nurse was passing and I asked her, "Where did Charlie go?" "Charlie?", she thoughtfully repeated then said "Oh, Charlie just left to get married and he won't be back until a week from now."

I then kind of panicked and made what one would be considered a "scene" as I jumped up and yelled, "What? He is suppose to measure my eyes for the operation that is to be done before he gets back." The nurse looked shocked and told me to run out to the receptionist to see if she could catch Charlie for me. So I ran down the hall and bashed thru some doors and pounded on the receptionist desk saying, "I need Charlie".

Alas Charlie was well on his way to his honeymoon. Then at the height of my anguish and mind filled with thoughts of now what do I do. Dr. Darlene showed up and patted me on the back and said, "Sorry, there is another Charlie. He is not getting married and well, I forgot there were two Charlie's that worked in the same department.

I did meet the real Charlie and everything was measured and I am ready to get fixed up. It was also true this Charlie was not getting married or going on a honeymoon. He told me 3 or 4 times to reassure me.

Such was my Unforeseen Frantic Occurrence. Does this happen to others? Or is it just me living in the outer space of these U.F.O'S.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Elevator Shafted

Got stuck in an elevator today with 8 other people. It was on my 100 things to do before I die list.

I never did get stuck on an elevator. I've seen it in comedy sketches and I along with most of the other people took it in as kind of funny. One guy was in a panic and kept saying he was afraid of being stuck in small places. Which was strange because just before we entered the elevator he was telling every one how he was a sailor in a nuclear submarine and would go three months at a time without surfacing. So when he all of a sudden was afraid of being stuck in a well lit elevator for 30 minutes or so, questions arose in my mind about his submarine stories.

One woman was afraid because she was late for work the day before, and was on her cell phone trying to convince he boss she would be late again today because she was stuck in an elevator. Another woman was told her car was going to be towed unless she got to the garage to try to prevent it. She was kind of a panic and yelling into her phone, "Don't tow my car, I'm stuck in an elevator". Then she held up her phone and we all start shouting, yes it's true she is stuck in an elevator with us.

I tried to lighten up the crowd and started a game. If you were stuck in an elevator who would you want to be stuck with. I said Sandra Bullock, to start it off. Everyone looked at me and it got kind of quiet and no one else played. Then someone else had the idea the doors were going to open and someone was going to say we were punked. One older gentleman said he read his horoscope and it said he was going to be on CNN. He imagined the doors would open and a camera crew would be there.

We took inventory of our stuff. I had bought two pair of shorts so and we had extra clothes. One lady had a bottle of water and another person had a bag with 2 subway sandwiches in it. Then there was a book someone else had so we had something to read. Plus we had pens and the ladies had all kind of stuff in their purses so we seemed to be in pretty good shape. This all took about 20 minutes.

Then for about 15 minutes someone banged on the outside doors of the elevator, which caused the elevator to shake and stuff.

Finally the doors were forced open and 2 policemen a paramedic and two elevator workers freed up. They asked if we were OK, took our names and gave us a number if we developed any elevator trauma later in the day as a result of our elevator ordeal. One woman turned to me and said, "By the way, I'm Sandra Bullock." She made my day.

This all happened at the VA hospital in Philadelphia. So if you call them they will confirm this story. Well thats another adventure recorded and passed on to you to be remembered or not and logged into your, "useless information file in the library in your mind".

Friday, April 13, 2007


Well here we go being anti again. First it was anti bacon and greasy foods because of heart disease. Which is good, someone is looking after our health. Now it is antioxidants.

What are oxidants and why are they bad? Unfortunately oxidants are waiting to happen. Everyday there are oxidants. Big oxidants and small oxidants. Oxidants can happen in the home, at work, in school and everywhere. Oxidants happen to the young and old and all nationalities and races. In every country in every nook and cranny of the world there are oxidants. The big thing is banning them from our drinks. I have seen bottles and bottles of fitness water advertising there are no oxidants in these drinks.

Wait a minute. They say there are antioxidants in their drinks? Are they saying that there is something in the water that would make us anti against oxidants? What next? Could they now make food that would make us be anti against other things because they got away with putting anti stuff in our drinks?

I may have to rethink this. In the mean time be careful what you drink it may bring you anti-think against something or someone you know.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Ad not!

Sometimes I wonder about ads on TV. I mean how could I trust having a credit card that my elephant can take and charge things with it. I mean how secure would that card be. If they did not question the elephants purchases, how hard would it be for a person to use it without my consent?

Then there is Jesus and God. I only mention this because it is Passover and Easter and the time of year when God, is kind of on everyones mind. It seems that some people get angry about reading or seeing the words "In God we Trust or one nation under God.


A lot of comedy is done about Jesus and God on the Daily Show or Conan O'Brian. (It was kind of funny when the Easter Bunny was tasered by those priests and Jesus was eating the chocolate bunny ears). The Jesus jokes and stuff make people laugh. I guess God and Jesus have a sense of humor. Forgive the comic for he does not know he jokes about. The world is still here, sometimes, a couple of hurricanes and overly big waves are Gods answer for a bad joke or two.

You can take God out of politics but you can't take God out of comedy, or so it seems. Which is good. Therefore I guess we need God not only in church but in a few joke books too. I'm sure there is some humor in the Bible. I always thought Adam and Eve wearing fig leafs was kind of a hoot. The line, "have I got a plague for you if you don't let my people go." Probably keep Moses laughing on Mt. Sinai with God a for awhile.

Happy Easter, Passover or whatever God holiday you may be celebrating.

So be it and Amen too!