Friday, December 29, 2006

Sad? Dam!

In America we have the death penality in some states. We also have years and years of appeals so sometimes the criminal will die of old age before he actually recieves the death penalty. In fact usually the criminal gets a following, a spot on a television news show and a bunch of bloggers will write about this, now, wonderful criminal sensation.

In Iraq the Americans are now teaching democracy. Since Americans are fluent in democracy they know about the problems that have wormed into the democratic justice process. So we can now see that people in Iraq are learning the new and improved democratic judicial system. Whereas the old democratic policy was to hang 'em at dawn. The new and efficent democratic idea is to hang 'em fast, at night and before the holidays. Then put lots and lots of extra guards around the prision.

The best thing about this new experiment, in democratic justice. Is that the people making these new rules, can sit back and see how many dead guards around the prision it will cost, and how many dead civilians in Iraq will also die for this grand new idea in democracy. If indeed it is worth it.

Is it sad? Dam, not really. All new ideas and experiments will have adverse side effects. As long as we have a large military machine to back it up, what is it if a few dead foreigners or soldiers loose their lives? It is for a good cause, after all and I am sure notes will be taken.

The real problem is what do we do with those nasty people that make the world unsafe for not only democracy, but UN countries that deal in socialism, facism, dictatorships or comunism? Must we all watch these forms of governments that a person has risen up in.? Must we make sure a leader of his/her world only gets power at the expense of people just needing a paycheck and want to make it to work on time? Will all members of the UN approve that country as long as the rest of the world get a piece of the action?

When I grew up it was fashionable for "bad" or "evil" leaders to get justice by offing themselves or being hung upside down with their lovers. After all they deserved it because they caused wars in which thousands and millions of innocent people died. Come to think of it, History seems to show us that most leaders that start wars end up loosing their lives. Napoleon, a few Roman Emporers, Hitler, and some Empires that tried to make their backyard worlds wider. It is a good thing that no wars were ever started in the name of democracy! After all that is why God has always been on the side of democracy right?

So am I sad that they hung that guy? Sad? Dam no. Not for him, just a little for democracy. I just hope that the people celebrate the holidays and have fun. Plus I hope people all over the world can stay employed in jobs they like, get their paychecks, get to work on time and don't give up on democracy. Just keep a better eye on the ones that are trying to improve it.

God bless.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Happy 2007

I have been waiting for 2007 because 2006 was really bad. Not as bad as 2005, but it is up there in the top ten worst years of my life.

Not to say that the good times were absent. Oh! Yes there were good times. Just not as many as I would have liked. I lost a few friends that turned out not to be really true friends. I also found great friends that stood by me when I had troubles and gave me the support to continue to go on. I met new people and made new friends.

A young soldier I knew came back from Iraq. Before Iraq he was stationed in Afganistan. I am happy he is home safe. Which started a conversation among my friends, and his, that went like this, "If the draft in put back in place will President Bushes daughters names be on that list of future draftees?"

That is not what I really want to write about. I am sure many many people have lost people (friends) in their lives and found new ones or just appreciated the ones they have. No, what I want to talk about is what is usually on peoples minds right about now. You guessed it, those New Years Resolutions. I made up a few I know I can keep:


Treat myself to ice cream for no real occasion.

Check out pretty women to exercise my eyes.

Use my imagination and pretend that I am my own reality show just for fun.

Make sure I go to at least one fast food place, like McDonalds or Burger King etc.

Go to the Mall and make a silly purchse that makes me feel good at least once.

Hug my grandchildren, my friends and any body else I feel needs a hug.

Spend time on my computer and just have fun.

Ride my motorcycle with my friends and enjoy the feeling I always get when I do it.

Believe in Aliens, ghosts and anything else I want to believe in.

Drink chocolate milk and make milk shakes with chocolate ice cream and whip cream when the mood calls for one.

Listen to music in my car or home and sing along with the tunes, or just sing even without music playing.

Only throw the finger once at drivers that make me mad. Twice if they really really make me mad.

These are just a few I KNOW I can keep. How about you? Let me know what resolutions you can think of that you will have no problem at all keeping.

Friday, December 22, 2006

I want I want I want!!!

For Christmas I want:

To know if there really are aliens in outer space visiting earth.

To know where the Rainbow is that has that pot of gold at the end of.

To be the perfect weight, forever.

To not have to depend on Viagria.

To have someone to not have to depend on Viagria with, preferably female.

To know if Jesus and Mary Magdeline were really married, and where are they living now so I can send them a wedding present.

To get healthy, lose weight, wealthy, win a big lottery, and wise, use my health and wealth to benefit my family and friends. In otherwords a big bath tub or spa thing and no more beer gut.

To be able to speak and understand all languages so I can freak out people that think I cannot speak or understand the language they are speaking.

To actually get the Christmas presents that people want.

To be with family and friends and take home lots and lots of leftover stuffing.

All wars to stop forever and all the soldiers come home.

To know what you want for Christmas and post it here.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006


I have not written in awhile because I have been expanding my life. Actually the only thing that has really been expanding is my girth. I don't know why I picked the word girth? It just came to me.

I am reading more and trying to expand my mind. I bought the "DiVinci Code", paperback, and ended up watching the movie first. It was interesting to learn that the future children of Jesus and Mary could drive small cars backwards really well!

I still have not read the book but that is because I am reading "A Treasury of Royal Scandals". I have to admit those Royals and their Scandals are pretty interesting. I think the History Channel should have a Royal Scandal series. Before I read this I read "A Treasury of Great American Scandals." I am proud to report that American Scandals are just as good as the Royal ones in England. I must admit though American Scandals have less violent ends. Sometimes.

I have come to the conclusion that the Universe may be expanding and expanding but we humans have expansion limits. I mean the people that make jeans have a limit to how big the pant holes we put our legs in can be. There are larger sizes and they are called sweat pants. For some reason sweat pant sizes are limitless. I remember a time when people wore sweat pants for exercise. Now it is a fashion statement for the large person. I tend to go for the dark colors.

Hopefully my vacation is over and I can get back to blogging again. Since very few if any people read this I will not be under a lot of pressure. Still it is good to be back. At least for today.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

After it is over.

When I die I want to be a ghost. I want to go to the light and all that stuff, but I want to be a ghost first. There are a few places I would like to haunt and a few people that would be fun to hang around and scare. I want to walk thru a few walls and stuff. I like this time of year and all the scarey stuff. I have been watching all the stories about hauntings on TV and I would like to be investigated. I would have a good time moving things around and being a ghost on TV. I would not be a bad ghost just kind of a mildly scarey one.

Being a ghost I would not have to worry about going to work to pay for rent or food and drink. I could take my time and enjoy the places I like without being rushed. There are places I could go to and not have to worry about bus schedules, or planes crashing, running out of gas, or the car breaking down and things like that.

I don't think I would hang around womens shower rooms, because I am kind of shy about stuff like that. I must admit I would peek though, just because. Which would probably keep me from going to the light.

Flying would be kind of fun. I think ghosts fly? If they can walk thru walls they should be able to fly. I would like to be a thin ghost. I am kind of heavy now and want to lose some pounds. I wonder if being a ghost I could pick the age I felt my best, thinnest and healthiest. Although if I was dead healthy would not be something I could be.

I would not want to hang around haunted houses that already have ghosts in them. From what I saw on TV I don't think I would get along with the really bad ghosts that killed people in their past lives. I would mostly hang around the people that just died naturally and became ghosts.

I might haunt the computer and scare the people that did not leave comments on my posts but that would not be ethical and I don't want to be that kind of ghost either.

Just in case though, let me know if you want to be a ghost too, or not. I promise I won't bother you after I am gone. Do you think a ghost can keep a promise?

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Pictures we never see.

I went to my friends house today and saw a picture of their sons new baby. The picture was in black and white and showed a sleeping baby in his father's arms. That is all you could see was the sleeping baby cradled in arms. Just arms holding the baby like a hammock or a-rock-a-by baby in the tree tops. That's all.

I have also seen many many pictures that moved me and erupted feeling of happiness, sadness, joy and explosions of feelings surged thru my brain firing all those synapses that effect those experiences that fold into long lasting memories.

Yet! There are many pictures I shall never see and many feeling I shall never experience because there are vast visual images that shall never pass my eyes in my short life.

I also have a blind friend that feels experiences similiar to what a sighted person may experience. Sometimes the blind person has more intense feelings because of their disability.

What the sighted and blind person have in common is that the world has a vast library of experiences and it is impossible to acknowledge them all.

This all seems to come to me because I just turned 54. It seems the older I get the more I reflect on life.

What seems to be bothering me the most is that I am on high blood pressure pills and old people pills that effect ones intimate lifestyles. There is help for us old gentlemen and we can be aroused for a whole four hours with the right pill. This would have been good when I was in my late teens and early twenties but the women I date at this age in my life are more prone to game shows, and shopping for grandchildren. Forget spending four hours in bed except unless it is called a nap.

So in retrospect the best I can do is enjoy thought provoking pictures that have some sort of life meaning. Even Playboy type magazines are depressing because they could be my daughter or even granddaughters. Anyway I wandering at this computer typing way word thoughts.

It is the after birthday depression thing. Like a bad hangover it catches up with me. Best I can do is enjoy what I can and enjoy the naps.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Just for you.

Every now and then a pat on the back, a kiss on the cheek, or a job well done is a nice thing to get, feel and hear.

So today just for you.

I have a great pat on the back for you to get.

A big kiss on the cheek for you to feel.

A job well done for you to hear.

Be special today because you are.

What the heck, have a hug too!

Friday, September 29, 2006


Her name is Zoie. I know because when I dreamed the dream I had, she was in it and told me that her name was Zoie, and spelled it Z-o-i-e.

She was a tall skinny blond haired woman between 20 and 40. I am bad with guessing ages. She had sandals on with dark colored striped socks. She also wore blue jeans and a kind of a white or ivory sweater shirt, plain. She wore thin glasses and her hair was in a pony tail. In my dream she was sitting at a table and I just had to ask her her name, she smiled and said Zoie and spelled her name for me. Then I woke up.

I had a strong urge to go get a Crispani Pizza at Panera. It is a bread and bun shop with wonderful bagels and breads etc. The Crispani Pizza is made only after 4 PM and I arrived there about 4:05 PM and ordered my Pizza, a mushroom one at that.
I also ordered a ice mocha and sat at a table to wait for my Pizza. As I sat there I noticed her. She was eating a sandwich and drinking something out of a huge white cup without a handle on it. It was Zoie. I could not believe it.

After she ate her sandwich she took out a small slip of blue contact paper and fashioned a small blue dog. I watched her quietly as she folded and creased the little paper into one of those Mexican looking dogs, which I cannot spell but is something like Chauwawa, but not Chewbacca.

When she was finished she stood it up, took her bowl or cup, and the tray she had with papers etc. on it and left the table. The little blue dog remained. I got up and gently picked up the dog and took it to her. I approached her and said. "You forgot this." She smiled looking very shy and shocked and mumbled, "oh or that is ok". I asked her if I could keep it and told her I would give it to my grandchildren. She smiled and nodded and I happly returned to my table and she walked out the door and drove away in her car. I think we both were glowing a little inside.

As I sat down I felt something special just happened and I could not put my finger on what it was until I held the little blue dog in my hand. For some reason that little blue dog became somewhat of magical thing to me. I decided to keep the little blue paper dog and it now sits ontop of my computer. It lookes like it is smiling and content where it is.

Thank you Zoie.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Not funny anymore.

Sometimes funny isn't funny anymore. It happened today.

For a long time everybody always had fun with George Bush. Comedy Central's the Daily Show, all the late night TV talk show hosts and even some of the daytime talk show hosts. Today that all seemed to change when that country that sells us oil in South America made fun of Georgie. Their President called him "The Devil and that George smelled of sulpher." I did not know that the Devil smelled of sulpher because I never met him. Apparently the South American President has first hand knowledge of what the devil smells like, or someone farted while he was speaking.

Anyway. I wonder did we all hit the point where we are tired of the Bush jokes, just like we are tired of wars, high gas prices and all other global woes?
I thought The Daily Show would have a good time with "Devil" Jokes and I thought the news media would be having fun with them too after the South American President made those remarks. I was wrong and no jokes were to follow. No real giggles, or chuckles, just a lot of sighs.

Today was like hearing the punch line first and then the same old joke followed. What does this mean? Is America not funny anymore? How many more Barry Manilow Jokes do we have to hear? How many chicken jokes, or lame one liners are left for us out there?

Hopefully a lot. Just not today. So maybe today America woke up and said. "No more Bush Bashing." Americans can only make fun of Americans, not South Americans or Mid Eastern or other countries. He is our President and we can only make fun of him best. So don't laugh on us. Unless we tell the joke.

Now that is funny. Or not. We just need someone new to make jokes about. Any volunteers? We can't be tired of laughing. I hope!

Monday, September 11, 2006

Once upon a discussion.....

There was once a discussion. It was about drugs. It was about drugs in America. It was about drugs in the world. It was about drugs and rock and roll. It ended up being a magazine. Which became a discussion in print. This magazine discussed drugs in America, around the world and drugs in rock and roll. Advertisers in this magazine paid lots and lots of money to have their ads in a magazine that discussed drugs. Why? Well it seems that people that do a lot of drugs also like to read. So the discussion became quite the party topic.

Then the discussion became an argument. Because of the Parties. Now they were not social parties where drugs were shared, or talked about while under the influence of the drug. Oh! Sex and Rock and Roll began to be big in these parties also. No no no these were not the parties that had the arguments about drugs. The Parties that did were political parties with political people.

The political parties started to read this magazine, that discussed drugs. These political discussions led them to learn a lot of wonderful drug things about drugs. So much in fact that these Party goers started to put ads in this drug filled discussion magazine. In fact these Parties started to send agents to validate these discussions and exploit the free market of drug ideas and other drug markets.

That is when the magazine evolved into a smoke filled screen of discussion. The people that liked to discuss the drug culture in this magazine never saw it coming. As long as the magazine was getting paid to advertise from all Parties who the hell really cared anyway.

Soon the all the cultures caught on. Now men read women discussions and women read magazines with men discussing things about themselves and their sex. A whole new world of learning opportunity opened up. Unfortunately the people that like to discuss terror did not publish their discussions in publications like, "The Terrorist Times" or the "Osama Weekly." Which is another subject all together.

So if one was gay and wanted a straight discussion they would read the "Straight Times" and if one were straight and wanted to read about an alternative lifestyle they would read the "Hi Gay Times." magazines. The people that discuss political things read each other party magazines also. Everyone can read about the people that have unpopular discussions at their parties and vice versa.

I use to attend a lot of the drug discussions myself in my younger days. Not so tody but I do attend a lot of meetings that discuss drugs, alcohol and God stuff.
Back in my earlied days I caught on to the drug and party discussions and arguments. So to find out for myself I joined the Coast Guard in the 70's.

Believe me now that was some discussion. Nixon's McHales Navy would be a good discussion to start. "Captains on Cocaine," a good article to write about. "American CIA Air" would have been a good advertisement and everyone was in agreement that drugs in America, around the world, and sex and Rock and Roll was a good discussion for all parites.

That is until disco.

This has been a Chumly Historical learning discussion. (Chumly History 101).

Friday, September 01, 2006

Who did where go?

Sleeping is not an option sometimes. I get to bed and am wide awake. So I make notes on what I can post on this blog. Here is a list of things I wrote down so I could write about them later.

Camping Wars/Civil War Armies.
Blog Education Mentos and Diet Coke.
Reincarnation - coming back as an Asian.
Thought a though.
Who did where go?

The problem is I did think about each idea and fell asleep thinking about them. Now it is time to actually write these ideas down and I cannot remember why I wrote them and what did I come up with before I fell asleep.

I know that before I fell asleep I had great words and ideas to write and witty saying that lead to palpable paragraphs. As I sit here and reminiss about these great wonderful posts, I am missing the remin's.

The eating mento's and putting the chew in a diet soda cap and making a rocket. This I remember because I saw it on a blog. The coming back as an Asian person after I die and am reincarnated is kind of in my memory. I like the great buffets and food the Asian people have here in America. I would not mind being reincarnated and owning one of these fine establishments.

As for the rest it is a blur. Especially when I thought the thought who did where go? That one has really got me baffled. So the next time you cannot sleep please try to remember this post especially if you can't fall asleep. Try to think for me, "Who did where go?" If you come up with anything please let me know. I really would like to know who did where go. If who went where at all!

Sunday, August 27, 2006

No Parking and I mean it!

How can there be peace in the world if two people can't even agree on who gets the parking space?

Ever go to park and you see a space, and then someone else gets there before you. It was a good space too. Close to the destination you wanted to go. Parking meter had time on it. It is the last space in the aisle or street and no one will block you in or park too close to you.

Some people have road rage others parking panic attacks after being slighted by a Parking Pirate. First the panic that some body else will get the space. Then there is the anger and rage because it was snatched away. There you are politely waiting for the car to vacate the space and you giving it room to back out and then....zoom....the Parking Pirate sneakes in and takes it. How do you react?

Israel, Palestine, Jordan, and Middle East mayhem and war. Is it over parking spaces?

In a way it is. It is over land. Who lives were and why? Who was there first? Who was there last?

Then there is the argument over oil and gas prices soaring up and up making transportation problems. Do high gas prices make the panic parkers more dangerous?
Do they make the Parking Pirates more aggressive, unethical and yes, immorial?
If this is the case maybe the United Nations should make a resolution to ban automobiles all together to solve this parking problem.

So, if people do not have cars they do not need parking spaces. Hence Peace in the world.

(Sigh) Unfortunately people do need some sort of transportation and will always need some place to park their horses, bikes, scooters, mules or whatever form of transport they need. Then they must get to that prize which is that Almighty Lottery Winning Prestine Parking Spot.

So the question remains. How can there be peace in the world if we can't even agree on who gets the parking space?

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

It's behind the Microsoft word......

I was going to cheat. I wrote something awhile ago in my daily thought diary in Microsoft word. I lost it all. Not my mind that went awhile ago also. As you can tell the word for this post is "awhile."

Isn't it something the way people hang on to words sometimes. Like the word "like." Do you know a "like" word person? Does the "like" word person say "like" a lot because deep down in some post traumatic after thought in their life they want to really be liked? Which brings me to the "really" person. We all have met one of them in our lives "really!"

Is it an ethnic thing? Like and really is that like, really a white American thing?

I am a white person. Polish, Irish and German descent stuck with the American citizen stigma because I was born in Pennsylvania, which also makes me a Yankee.

So if you are Black, Asian or Hispanic you probably know people that say other words a lot in your society or whatever. Does that bother you? It really doesn't bother me. You see, I am not good with names but remember a "like" or "really" person a longer time after I meet them more than I can rememeber their name. Sometimes irritating is a good memory tool.

I think I shall think about this "awhile!"

Saturday, August 19, 2006

One second later.......

One day a person will ask a question. Then all of a sudden the world will end and the answer will never be heard. So I guess the question will never matter or need an answer to it, will it?

Anyway. Everyone seems to have some kind of problem that is bigger than anyone elses problem no matter what. It depends on the time the person and the situation.

Of course this is not what I want to write about either. It seems that I have not written a post for awhile and I am grasping at words and thoughts to try to make sense out of something for someone to read. Just in case they happen to stumble upon these words and thoughts because they are looking for something to read or do with some extra moments in their lives. Like you for instance. Hello! Thanks for reading this stuff. I really appreciate you taking the time. Leave a comment so I can read your posts and see how you came up with something for someone like me to read what you have to write, or say.

So..... I wonder what the last question in the world will be? I just hope it isn't this one.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Check, check and double checked

Leaving to visit my grandchildren in North Carolina.
Bought new swim suite for the pool - check.
Got all my old man medicine ready and filled - check.
Enough money in checking - check.
Motel reservations - check.
Car checked out for trip - check.
Mail to be picked up by friends - check.
Got maps and directions - check.
Rosary and prayer book, because you just never know - check.
KY Jelly in case I get lost in a canoe or raft on a stream with Burt Reynolds and he gets hurt and can't help me if I get kidnapped by a bunch of guys that play guitars and banjos in the woods - check.
Cell phone for emergencies - check.
Book on how to use cell phone for emergencies - check.
Tissues or extra toilet paper for those out of the way gas stations that never have the rolls filled - check.
GPS portable navigation hand held thing that I have been trying to figure out for the last 2 weeks and the only thing I learned was how to turn it on and off - check.
Packed clothes, razor, toothbrush etc. - check.
Checked out most beautiful full moon ever - check.
CD's and tapes for entertainment during long drive - check.
Water, snacks and stuff - check.
Full tank of gas - check.
Tools for emergencies and spare tire filled with air - check.
Got in car to start trip and car would not start and now I have to postpone the trip because I had to tow car to garage to get it fixed in morning - check and...........
Check Mate game over.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Of course we all love him.

I am not what one would consider a Christian Christian but I do like the guy. What bugs me is the lack of respect we have for him as a person. Jesus I mean. Take weddings for instance.

Jesus is my favorite person because he can change water into wine. I was an Alcoholic for years because I thought that is why he changed the water to wine in the first place. I was just waiting around for him to change the water to whiskey once in awhile. I drank whiskey and water because the soda and whiskey gave me hangovers.

Now consider that poor JC is always hanging around on that cross. Mindful of the great and wonderous thing that was, but I think it is about time we cut him a break and took him off the cross for awhile.

Like weddings for instance. Instead of having him hanging on the cross behind the bride and groom maybe we could dress him up all smiles and stuff like he was at the wedding feast in Caanan. He was probably looking good for that wedding and lets face it he had good times too. So maybe a picture of him waving a glass of wine in a toast like manner would be more wedding like then having him hang on the cross.

Baptisms too. These poor kids are being baptized underneath a guy on a cross, no wonder the kids cry. It isn't the water being pored on them, its the cross. So maybe we could have him in a picture with his mom or when he was telling the kids stories.

Now I am not trying to be blastfamous. I am just trying to make for a happier JC.
I love the guy and like I said most people love him. Can't we just be nice to him and remember that, yes there were good times and he wasn't being crucified all the time. When he comes back are we going to ask him to autograph the crucifixion pictures?

One more thing. Chocolate crosses should be banned from Easter Baskets. It's sick and there is no way a sane person should enjoy eating that chocolate.

Other than that, just happy memories. Nuff said.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Nighty eyes opened.

I Cannot seem to be able to sleep again. So here I sit and type letters hoping they make words that expand into sentences that will excite a thought somehow.

I wonder why wayward events make people famous and practice and hard work sometimes don't pay off. For instance how many people get cold feet and skip out on their marriages every day. Then that one day that woman does it and wins the national news lottery. She is famous all at once while some other poor Joan has been going to school, working hard, writes, creates etc. hoping to do something special to make the national news and ppphhhzzttt nada. Not saying that famous is good but it just happens to be not really planned.

What are the chances that one sperm and one egg in millions and billions of eggs and sperms ends up being someone like Paris Hilton. I don't think sperms and eggs have schools and do research and practice to get it right. I don't think that there are sperm and egg agents out there or producers doing casting calls for the proper egg and sperm matches.

Then again science may be making that happen more than I think. The roll of the dice so to speak is getting more and more predictable. Still that egg and sperm has to grow and become something, even if it is pre-bought, pre-programmed or pre-whatever.
So does that mean that the future will hold pre-lawyers and pre-actresses and pre-people? What will happen to the rest of sperm and egg hatchlings that just happen in paradise by the dashboard light so to speak? (Thank you Meatloaf).

Once born will there be a list? If you are not on that list then do you get the leftover jobs at McDonalds or in a factory or whatever?

Is the world just strange and getting more unpredictable or more predictable eveyday?

What got me thinking about this was this. I liked to smoke pot, maryjane, wacky weed, whatever when I was young. I was walking down the street in Boston, it was the late 70's, and I was nonchalantly smoking a joint, or reefer or whatever. Suddenly I became the center of attention for a bunch of tourists. They thought it was cool that here was a person in Boston, just walking down the street smoking a joint like it was a normal every day occurance. They got out of their car asked me to pose for some pictures and they took group pictures of me and them for friends and relatives so they could talk about who they saw in Boston, and what a cool town Boston was because you could walk down the street smoking a joint and nobody cared.

So there I was not trying to be famous, just myself enjoying a walk in Boston smoking my Mary J. Joint joyfully. I am sure there were people who lived in Boston that would have loved the attention and got their pictures taken, but no, these tourists wanted me. So who knows about fame.

Of course I was in my dress Coast Guard Uniform too, but not that that mattered either. It just happened. There I was being famous without trying. Such is life I guess.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Over ear?

I guess you might be able to brag about your bad day especially if it was the day you lost your ear while you were at the drive thru ATM bank machine.

My friend was on her way to get a coffee. She realized that she was a bit short on cash so she decided to go to the ATM drive thru. This is something hundreds of people do every day and something she has done hundreds of times herself. This is her story.

"I went to the ATM machine drive thru. I dropped my card and was too close to the machine to open the door so I pulled the car forward a little to clear the machine. I reached down and back to get the card. My foot came off the brake (My head was between the door and the door frame). The car rolled and the door closed on my head and began to squeeeezzzze my head because of a concrete pillar that was against it.
I struggled to get my head out and in the process tore my ear away from my head. When I got out of the door I was in a great deal of pain and in shock. Luckily I got the car in park before I rolled all the way out into the street. I started to cry out "Help me!" The next thing I remember was being in an ambulance on my way to the hospital with a neck brace, back board and IV."

Fortunately for her there was no skull fracture or brain damage. Although she insists that this is debateable. A plastic surgeon reattached her ear and made some repairs.

Her husband took her and her daughter on a vacation to the beach so she could rest for a few days. He drove.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Stepped in it again.

No matter where you go there it is. Sometimes you see it and sometimes you do not. It happens. We don't want it too but it does. It is suppose to be a healthy thing for all living things to do, and if it isn't done then that living entity could die. It would back up and muddle up the brain and implode. Yet! This is not what I want to write about.

I was thinking how relationships define our lives. When I rememeber part of my life I remember the Sandy Era or the Michelle Era. This is after the High School era. For some people College might be an era. I went part time to my local university and worked so my college era lasted about 25 years. Ok, so I took my time and after 20 years the school let me park for free, so it wasn't all bad.

I was just wondering how people define the parts of their past lives. I have a grown daughter so I had a few era's with her. The Grade school era, High School and College Era and now I am in the Grandchildren era. Three grandchild era's.

Now I am in my single and older era again. I moved so that was an era in an era. The past era I wrote in my journal was my "Living with the blind nun era." I have to admit that was some era.

How do you define your era's? Is it relationships, or places you lived? The times you were in school, different grades, classes or teachers? I wonder if there is a universal era type theme people use? I had a bar hopping era when I hung with my favorite bar room buddies and I played shuffle board. Mostly when I remember bits of my life it centers around a relationship I was having at the time.

Then of course there was the Coast Guard Era. That lasted 4 years. That was quite an era, I was attacked by a shark, arrested in Cuba by the Marines, and smuggled my ex-wife on a Coast Guard Bouy tender because she wanted a BBQ with the crew. Plus she wanted to get a ride on a Bouy tender.

The divorce era was kind of fun because I ended up with a Harley. My ex got remarried and I was invited to the wedding. I almost gave her away because her dad was angry with her for some reason. They made up the last minute and I didn't have to go. It was a good divorce. Everyone in my family voted for us to get divorced. I voted twice myself.

I had my Grateful Dead era. Which comes back in flashbacks once in awhile.

Anyway! How do you define your life's era's? It would be interesting to me if you would let me know. It could be a kind of a decision to have an era you want to remember or decide it is an era you would really not like to have had at all and make it none of my damn business. Which would make it something we would both not want to step into again.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Chasing the dogs tail.

I used to laugh at dogs chasing their tails until I realized how much we humans do it ourselves.

I recently moved and I had to notify my cable and phone company of the changes. Simply a simple job for Simply Chumly. I had thought. As you may well have surmised this did not go according to my plans but went according to the corporate and corporate employee plans for this consumer dog.

First I had to realize that my computer and cable TV would be rehooked up, not on my time, but when the Cable Company, called Adelphia in Scranton, which I should not really mention, but am,....! where was I........oh yeah! Not on my time or for my convience but for the convience of the cable company on their time. That is when I could get reconnected. The Adelphia people could not reconnect me on Friday the 28th of June, because they do not do cable hook ups in Dunmore on Friday. So I was scheduled for Monday the 3rd of July.

First bite of the tail missed.

The 3rd of July came and went and no Adelphia people were to arrive. I sauntered down to the cable company place and found out, from the service representative there, that they called my disconnected number to let me know that they rescheduled me. So
the service rep. and I decided that Wednesday the 5th of July would be nice, since the 4th was a holiday and considered also a high holy day of no cable connecting.

Second snip at the tail missed.

The 5th of July came and went and no Adelphia people. I called the main office and after 2 hours of cajoiling, threatening, and begging. I found that wimpering was the key to getting me rescheduled for Friday July 7th. I asked if they could come before 9 AM and Adelphia Management sternly said, "You will wait until 10 AM or we do not come out at all!"

Snapped and snapped missed the tail again.

They did mention that they could NOT make it on the 6th of July, Thursday, because they were booked and did NOT want to inconvience their customers by rescheduling THEM. It was also the time I remembered, But Hey! Didn't they say Friday's in Dunmore was a "no cable hook up no show day?"

This is the point were I forgot which tail I was chasing and what direction I was chasing it in.

Finally at 8:35 AM, on the 7th of July, AM the cable woman and her cable guy assistant in training showed up. She was a Garage Mechanic Calander Poster Material Gal, and most definetly the picture for the Month of July. She had on short shorts, long dirty blond hair, was young, both physically attributed in the right upper and lower places and was wearing her tool belt in a very provocative matter. I had forgotten all my past experiences with Adelphia. I was so enthralled by her presence I tipped her $6, all I had in my wallet at present because she didn't accept credit cards for tips.

SOLID bite of the tail with MAJOR pain shooting right thru my a.. ah! Anterior brain hole, so to speak.

The phone company well that is another story. Now, I just know Blog Dog will have a real colorful finger for them I could use!!!!!

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Moving in a Chevy, don't know when I will blog again.

Moving days are not fun days in my book. My book is called "Chumly's Book." I haven't published it yet, nor have I written much in it. Once in awhile I write things in it like. "Moving days are not fun." Then I put it in the book for a later quote to use in a post.

Do you have a book of your own? Your rules or thoughts or writings? Some people call it journaling or posting, blogging, writing in a Diary. While other people don't write down anything at all and just make things up as they go along. What kind of person are you?

Then there are the "readers" of these diaries or whaterver. They are like the Peeping Toms of the writing world. These are the people that spend actual money to buy these writings of others. They are the good part of the writers world.

Well, enough of trying to put off moving and writing this stuff.

So, if you see a 1995 beat up White Chevy SUV type truck with a bunch of junk in it.
It is not going to the Salvation Army, or a thief running away with stuff stolen from a neighbor's house. It is just Simply me, Simply Chumly, Simply Moving.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Turn on the Seasons

First day of Summer is here again. Well this is the first time we had a first day of Summer in 2006. We had only one first day of summer in 2005 and in 2007 we will only have one first day of Summer also.

I think the seasons are all wrong anyway. To me a "Chumly" Summer is from Memorial Day to Labor Day. Then again calling it Labor Day is all wrong. It sounds like the birth of Summer when it actually is the end. We already have a Labor Day. That is Mother's Day, so we do not need another one. If we want to end Summer and acknowledge the workers of America, then the day should be called Capitalism Day, or Workers Day, or Last Day of Summer Day, possibly even Family Day since it is usually the last picnic day for families.

Autumn is a strange season because of the mn in it. It sounds like a thinking season Autumnmnmnmnm. This season should be from the day after Summer ends (one of the days I mentioned other than Labor Day), to November 25th or Thanksgiving Day. I initially thought maybe the last day of Autumn to be Holloween. I decided the changing of the leaves and football season is definitely Autumn.

Winter should be from Black Friday, the Christmas Shopping Day until the end of March. That gives us plenty of time for snow and winter sports. Black Friday is a good name because it is usually dark most of the time during Winter any way. Plus every one is in a black mood because they have to work overtime to pay for those Christmas and New Years Holidays. Those Jewish Holidays are not too cheap either. The last day of Winter we could call Hooray Day!

AH! Spring time. April has always been Spring to me. April 1st is April Fool's day which is good because the weather sometimes fools us thinking warm weather will be here and then the big giant rat like thing see's it's shadow and we go from Hooray Day to Oh Crap day.

That brings us back to Memorial Day and we are off an running to another 1st day of Summer.

Thank you. (As I bend and do a hand flippin bow, but not the colored hand flippin like Blog Dog does).

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Backbone of America Poor

It has come to my attention that the backbone of America is the poor population.
Being poor means being on Welfare. Welfare gives a poor family food stamps. The poor family gives the food stamps to the local grocery store. Therefore keeping the stores open and with a steady income. The poor usually purchase the cheaper store brand food which keeps the prices down and thus creates jobs for people making those cheaper food products. The poor keeps the buses, and public transportation in the cities well funded which also creates jobs because the buses have to be driven. The poor also keep tons and tons of non profit orginizations profitable because they help the poor. By being on Welfare or Medicare or poor medical plans. Doctors and nurses are assured of jobs and student nurses, doctors, and medical people, in training, are constantly getting experience. The drug companies can try out new drugs on the poor population with generic and expermental drug testing via these medical plans. Being poor helps keep taxes down for? Yep! the poor and the middle class also. Unfortunately not so much as the rich. Although the rich get tax breakes for hiring the poor people. Poor people help keep the minimum wage also.

Poor people are also ecological important. The poor usually buy the old cars which cuts down on automobile waste. The poor usually recycle old car parts to keep the cars running. The poor buy the cheap gas which helps keep the gas prices down. The poor cannot purchase the higher octane and did you ever notice the cheaper the octane the lower the gas prices. There has to be a connection there. The poor also are good at recycling old furniture, clothes, and anything else that can't be sold at a yard or garage sale.

The food drives are especially helpful because the food given to the poor is usually the canned goods nobody uses and thus keeps those canned goods companies from going bankrupt.

The poor sell their, blood, body parts, hair and volunteer for those experimental health programs thus advancing science and scientific progress.

So the next time you see a poor person. Don't look down at them for holding signs "Will Work for Food" or you meet a "Homeless Person." Remember this post and how the poor are the backbone of America. That way when they beg for change on the street and you don't give them any, you won't feel so bad.

(Paid for by the people who support George Bush for a Third Term)

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

I win again!

I like to play mind games with myself. The best thing is, I make up the rules and I always win.

The first thing I noticed about myself, even as a child, was my imagination. I love it. When I go to the store I am not just going to buy bread or milk. I am anyone I want to be. Sometimes I am a movie star, in-cog-neat-o. I pretend I am bigger than Brad Pitt and I need some ice cream. Wearing dark sun glasses helps the image and it is more fun when you are in the store. Once in awhile I even give out an autograph to some confused person I meet. I don't do this often because I want to have fun not be put away.

On long auto trips I am a rock star going to my concert. I have a gig to play and I am prepairing while in the car. Singing along with my favorite CD helps. Once in awhile, on a long trip, I am a comedian or a public speaker and I practice my jokes or wise sage like sayings I will amaze the pretend audience I will be addressing.

In a booring situation, like waiting in a Doctors office or just in some line waiting. I have great synaptic firing adventures lighting up my brain imagined activities. I pretend some great sexy person, (your choice could be made even better since it could be male, female, animal or alien), comes into the office. They are looking for me, I am James Bond waiting for my contact in the Doctor's Office. Although I liked the Birdcage Movie and have fun with that, the sexy person is usually female. Since it is all in my thoughts there are no bounderies. This may be confusing to the reader so to make it clearer......well that's confusing since it is my imagination we are talking about; so forget the "lets make it clearer idea" and start a new paragraph.

The toughest think for me is getting to sleep at night because of my over active cerebral activities. Thinking gets me a restless night but pretending gets me sleep.
I like fairy tales and fantasy, suprise, and delving into another world while laying in darkness helps.

I guess all these words amount to what I want to say which is this. The unreal real in ones life can be the next adventure in a real unreal world. I could not say this or that but! That which we can't imagine, is lost never to exist. That which we CAN imagine can be good as long as we do not imagine badly. We could also say some other thing which can be something like: The solitude of ones mind is a private room which no one can enter or be allowed unless the visitor can imagine the world of the imaginer.

Better yet! Just imagine for yourself. That would be better than anything I can think up or imagine for you.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Easy Money, Yeah! Right!

Lately I have been getting a lot of offers from people in a lot of foreign countries to move money for them. Usually it is millions and millions of money. Now why would a stranger want to give me millions and millions of money and trust me to keep it safe for them? Do you think this could be a dishonest scam or something? Nah! These are just good people trying to get their estates settled when they find millions and millions of dollars in Uncle Jacks ol Sea Chest that he left in the Attic after he died. Good ol Uncle Jack squirreled away millions and millions of dollars and they just need a perfect stranger to help them find a safe money port for them. Sometimes it is worse. Some war or rebellion in another country ousted them out and these poor souls have to get millions and millions of dollars out of the country and need, you guessed it, a safe STRANGER to stash it for them.

I have tried to help. I tell them to send me cash to an unknown address. I give them my old address at the vacant lot so I can pick up the money. I tell them I will meet them in the back of a church in disquise, usually wearing an Ozzy Osborne or baseball shirt or Big Bird costume so not to be noticed. I ask them to send cash so I can trust them not to write me a bad check. Still. No one has returned my email and asked me for their help again.

I wonder why? Yes, why did they ask me in the first place if they are not willing to follow up with their plan to get these million and millions of dollars safely put away? Do my fonts in my emails look dishonest? I am baffled. So, to anyone out there that has millions and millions of money dollars that need a safe stranger to handle. Please I trust you. I now am willing to accept checks and credit cards.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Just don't know............

I know I want to write something that would get your attention. I can't seem to think up anything at the moment, so I will sit here and write until something comes across.

That Al Z guy in Iraq got hit with a couple of 500 or so lb. bombs and it was pretty unhealthy for him in that he died. Everyone is probably talking about that, so that is not new.

I have a spur in my foot, not the shiney metal cowboy kind. It hurts, but only when I walk or put pressure on my foot or look at it funny. I figured out how to coordinate my hand and feet, so when I draw a circle with my right hand I can move my feet right or left, sometimes, in the opposite direction. Don't waste your time with that though, it might give you a headache or motion sickness.

It is repeat time on the TV shows. Summer usually does that. Before VCR's you could watch the shows you could not watch because you were watching another show and it made your summer TV watching a little more fun. With the VCR you can record every show and watch it when you want. Like no body thought that one out either. At least with the re-runs I can get outside more. If it ever stops raining. Not that walking in the rain is not as much fun as singing in the rain. It is just that it isn't.

Thinking about joining a health club so I can eat more pizza. On a really really booring day, popping pimples isn't as much fun as it use to be. I don't know why I shared that but it is a pretty disgusting thing. It would be better not to have pimples at all. But then again what would one pop?

PS. I wrote some more stuff, but deleted it. See I do respect my readers afer all.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Joggin Bloggin

I found that it sometimes is more fun to go joggin in the bloggin than bloggin in the bloggin. I love to check out other blogs and find out what is going on in the blog world. I have learned so much. I love to leave comments because I hope it makes the person posting the post be appreciated. I am amazed at the vast assortments of the blogs and like to check out the blogs of the day. It makes my small little world behind this computer monitor a little bigger. The pictures are amazingly clear and beautiful. I stick with my simple format because that is me. There are other blog posters that have great backrounds and wonderful things to say. I wish I knew how to speak Spanish, French, German and some Asian. Somehow I cannot speak these languages but sometimes there are pictures and all of a sudden I become fluent in understanding the jist of the posted blog thing. I like the comments I receive myself and thank you for anyone that has taken the time to give me a comment which I just consider it as an "hello." One comment was they are "coming to get me." That is my favorite comment because I try not to be serious and it made me laugh. (or lol). I must admit that "they" have caught me a few times already. I almost escaped on the elevator but the nurse had the key and locked it on the floor it was on. So I could not go up or down. I had fun pushing the buttons and pretending I was in Jerry's apartment with Kramer, George, Elaine and the gang. I just wanted to share that just publishing a post is only half the fun. Do a little joggin bloggin for yourself and you'll see.
Or not!

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Flat lined again!

Ever do or say something that stops you in your tracks? Sometimes I hear another person say something and it stops me in my tracks. Sometime I say something that stops others in their tracks. Then there are the times the words just rush out before my brain catches them and then I stop myself in my tracks. There are special speakers in the world that think before they speak. I speak then think or speak and forget what I just said and wonder why the person I am speaking to is looking at me like that. I seem to have that special ability to also say the wrong thing at the wrong time to the wrong person. Like the other day, I saw a person I did not see for years, oh, here it comes says the reader I hope its good, well it is kinda. Anyway I see this beautiful lady who has not aged since 1970. I am aroused, gitty, blushing and trying to flirt but not show I am flirting. I think about having sex with her but it is just a fantasytactile thought not a physical possibility. I need the big V pill and because it is not romantic I do not carry them, but that is another story. I digress, sorry. Well. I mention we have a sorta mutual friend and she knew this other person way back when and use to hang out with this other friend of mine. "Yes, it was true, and that just brought back a flood of memories. Especially since I was married your friends best friend then divorced him." she wistfully replied to me.
This is where I stopped in my tracks.

Friday, June 02, 2006

AA or AAA?

I am one of those members of Alcohol Anonymous. I also drive a car and I am a little miffed about the high gas prices. I began thinking about driving and recovery. My road to recovery is like driving on a highway. I encounter rocks, boulders and things that are on the road that hinder my travels. These rocks and boulders are of course obsticales to my recovery like doubt, anger, and well, you name it. I avoid these obsticales and they get smaller and smaller as I begin to proceed down the road. On the smooth road I can enjoy the little stop overs that are like roadside rests. I can enjoy a stop for ice cream, or a water park or a beautiful scene. I can really embrace the good stuff on the highway. These little stops are my serenity, acceptance, love and respect I have from my fellow AA members and people I encounter.

I must be careful not to dwell in the rearview mirror because I will lose sight of the road ahead by continually looking backwards. My gas is the serenity gas which are the 12 steps, traditions, and the good things AA teaches. If I break down my AAA is AA. I must beware of the potholes. They are avoided by not driving too fast and being aware of the dangers that can lurk in the roads. Instead of "Curves, deer, or danger signs up ahead." I see "Yield to Sobriety signs like, "Danger Drinkin Thinkin up Ahead." When I am done driving before I exit the car I turn to my navigator, my Higher Power, and say a special thanks for the help. Well, good driving to you too!

Friday, May 26, 2006

Dear Diary

I write myself a diary and do a blog and sometimes I get them mixed up. Lately I have been blogging more than diarying. Which is close to saying I have a bowl disorder. It is more of a writing disorder though. I am in one of those writer's block moods today.
It is because I have been cursing my cursor lately. You know that little line that seems to be ahead of every letter that is typed on a computer page or link or whatever. Which is another thing that is bothering me. Why is it called a link? A page is a page because it is written on paper. A link? Now that is confusing to me since link is a golfers term. I am not hitting a little ball around when I type what I think. I pound the keys, so maybe like a boxer we could call it a ring instead of a link. I think that would make more sense. Yep! I am typing in the rink as I pound my computer keys. English and words in English and word meanings have always confused me. I was good in the bin with Ben who has been kissing Jen on her bean. Bin, Ben, Been, and Jen is not confusing to anyone else but me. Especially since Jen turned out to be a man. Which is ok with Ben but not me, even though Ben turned out to be the girl. I am not prejudice but only queezy in that man on man lip thing. Now what has that to do with English? It is that some words in the English language are considered masculine and some feminine. Where do the gay words come in? What are the gay words in English? Why do I keep getting homosexual, bisexual and heterosexual mixed up? Why can't we just be sexual? I think homo means one, bi means a couple but how many is hetero?
I'd like someone to straighten this out, but being straight offends some people. So I guess I must stay bent? Whereas getting bent is some kind of insult, which I never understood what the hell that meant either. Now I heard that English is going to be the official language of the USA. I was brought up in an Irish, German, Polish family, and neighborhood, in the wonderful state of Pennsylvania. I went to Boston and they speak different than Pennsylvanians. We have trouble with the word roof, they in Boston, have trouble parking their cars. Are dialects or southern people going to get fined or arrested for having an accent? What accent is the proper USA English one? North, South, East or West one? I guess that will be the next bill the congress or senate will have to debate an pass now. I am confused about the Turkey and Eagle also. If the Eagle is our national bird why do we have a special holiday for the Turkey? I don't want to eat an Eagle, but we should have an Eagle day. The fourth of July doesn't count because we fly flags not Eagles. It would be bad to tie an Eagle to a pole then wave it around. After re-reading this I am also convinced that maybe having writers block might have been better than writing this after all!

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Most frightening words in the world are..............

"I am a Christian."
Now, maybe they are not the most frightening words in the world but they sure make me run down the street when someone approaches me. I am not an over religious person. I do go to church every Sunday, well, actually, the late evening one on Saturday. I believe in God and I am a Christian. I am amazed that I can break the Ten Commandments, and I have. All I have to do is ask God to forgive me and he will. Like Father Guido says, God gives us $14.35 for each day we live and when we die we have to pay for our sins with the cash we earned while we were alive. I believe that too! As for me when someone breaks my own Ten Commandments then I have a hard time forgiving them. Now I believe each of us has our own Ten Commandments, which we have made up, that our friends and family must follow. I have never put them in writing and believe me they change a lot, which is why I could never write them in stone. Just think a minute. If you had to write the 10 Commandments what would you write? A non-smoker might make people not smoke around them as a commandment for instance. A smoker might make it a commandment to let people smoke where ever they wanted. So what would yours be? Today mine would be:

1. Thou shalt never say anything bad about me, ever, even if you want to.
2. Thou shalt remember my birthday and also give me presents for my birthday, on Christmas and candy for Easter.
3. Thou shalt let me take a day off from work any time I want, and pay me for it.
4. Honour my father and mother by lying to them when you see me doing something bad and they ask about it.
5. Thou shalt not hurt me or kill me. Even if I piss you off real bad.
6. Thou shalt not try to date or go to bed with anyone I like. Believe me Jesse James is in big trouble since he married Sandra Bullock.
7. Thou shalt not steal from me or borrow anything from me I already stole or borrowed from you.
8. Thou shalt not lie about me to my face, behind my face or if my face isn't around, but put up with my tall tales about you.
9. Thou shalt remember that this commandment is whatever comes to my mind at the time you are not listening to me.
10. These commandments can only be changed by me and obeyed by you. So, don't duplicate them for your own use.

On second thought maybe I should let God handle the commandments.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Hey you, you, you and you?

I met a person that had many personalities and knew every one. When at a party, that person had a personality, that was the life of the party. When at a funeral that person slipped into a morner. When at a sports event the fan emerged. When in work the perfect worker clocked in right on time. This person could blend in well in any event by changing personalities to fit the situation. Each personality actually had a name. Some of the personalities had nicknames to fit the situation. For example in Church the name was a saintly one. In the supermarket the name was an impatient one while waiting in line. The personalities were so different that if one got in trouble the others would come to the aid of the distressed one. This person was single, because there was always plenty of company inside the personality lounge that lived in the brain that housed all these personalities. Each personality took responsibility for the actions acted out in the situations it emerged in. If some person, who worked with the work personality, happened to see the supermarket personality the next time in work they would say to the work personality, "Hey I saw you at the supermarket the other day." The then work personality would say, "Yes and I saw you but I wasn't myself." Which was true in a sense.

Friday, May 12, 2006

It's just that.............

I decided to talk in circles the other day to someone and found out that even though I did and could, I really did not get or go anywhere. I wasn't in a physical circle but in a room sitting in one chair and the person I was talking to was sitting in another. I don't write in my blog everyday but think about the people that don't read it constantly. What exactly are they reading? Maybe I don't blog well or have the wrong concept of a blog? It didn't matter much that that black cat almost crossed my path. The cat stopped looked over its shoulder at me then decided not to cross my path but go back underneath the porch it came sauntering out of. That is why my favorite ride of all rides is the Merry-Go-Round. I loved those wooden painted horses when I was a kid. The way they went up and down and around in that circle was great. I pretended I was Roy Rodgers or Gene Audry picking off bandits and robbers being spotted when passing those people over and over again. Of course the ice cream wasn't that bad either. What is it with circles? People draw them on paper, in the dirt with sticks, in the air with their fingers or just fill them in with their pencils when reading a boring article in school. Planets circle, stars circle, circles circle. In a round about way of course. Which brings me back to my original circle of talking; or in this case writing in circles. Which is not true. I did not draw a circle around my computer then sit in the middle of it and type away. I just imagined it. I like making circles with my arms around special people then drawing them into me ending up with a hug. That's a nice circle. Want one?

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Suicide Bomber Training Camp

I was interested to hear that the terrorists are running out of Suicide Bombers. I guess the problem is that they are all committing suicide. The Japaneese had the same problem during WWII, so you would think the terrorists would have learned. Then I found out that one of the instructors was captured. Maybe the students turned him in. I talked about this at an AA meeting (Alcoholics Annonymous) and began wondering if the Suicide Bombers have meetings. For example, "Hello! My name is Abu and I am a Suicide Bomber. I have been a bomber for 30 days. I just cannot seem to get on that bus. I get near the bus, but just cannot get on it." The advice could be, "Just don't think about it. Once on the bus you'll be fine. The air conditioners rarely work so it is unbearably hot and stickey. The driver is always in a bad mood and will probably make trouble for you if you don't have the right change. The bus will be overcrowded and stinkey. Believe me by the time you find a seat you will be happy to pull the cord on the knapsack and blow all those infidels and yourself up!"

Then there is the school itself. First off no seats because the classes are short. You probably go in and they take roll call. Then the terrorist teacher shows the students a knapsack with a cord that blows up the knapsack after you pull the cord.
The cord is probably color coded so you can easily identify it. There are possibly two cords a primary and a back up like a parachute. The terrorist teacher says something like, "Put on the knapsack and pull the primary (Red) cord after you get on the bus or find a seat in the lunch place or simply blend into a group of infidels. If the primary (red) cord doesn't work pull the secondary (green) cord. Some people like to pull the both cords at once because that usually gaurantees a successful explosion and you get double the virgins." Then they sign papers designating what family member gets the insurance once they blow themselves up.

There probably is a graduation with robes because even in the states students that graduate only wear the robes once. Finally the surviving relative can give the graduation robe to one of the females in the family so she can have a new dress.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Not another Vortex! ~()~

I am sleeping now! Am I sleeping now? Whatever! I am back in the vortex of darkness with words that are floating at fantastic speeds setting off synaptic signals of electric thought. Crashing, bumping, crushing and disappearing madness between sleep reality and awakened unrealities. There is thunder somewhere out there distancing awareness from me. I cannot feel the wetness of the rain but here it knocks around while tapdancing those last hysterical steps before exploding into fragments of water shrapnel when contacting immovable objects fastened to the earth. The sentence runs on and on creating word after word and leaving them like footsteps so a reader can follow and interpret them while adventuring into the writers mind. The swirling continues inside the vortex. Yet! There is no movement but thought. Then even thought ceases to move. Blackness overtakes the darkness and soothes its silken fingers throughout the now restful mind. Solitude shrinks into numbness and I am off to another sequence of dreams.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Moi President?

I have been thinking about the upcoming presidential election. You know the one where we Americans vote for a president to run the United States. When I was little I use to think that America was all the way down past Mexico and included all those other places which I thought were states. I just figgered that we ran out of stars and stripes because if we added them all, our flag would be too big. Later on as I grew older I wondered why Americans only let Southern America use and sell drugs. It wasn't until after I turned 30 plus I got sober and found out that North America was the United States one. I was pretty amazed that Canada wasn't a part of the United States and Alaska and Hawaii was. LSD sure ran my life for a long time making me not really want to get involved in politics.

So, after Garcia died, I began to realize then that I did not like the people that were United States Presidents. I didn't like Clinton and I am really not all that found of Bush. I am not a registered Democrate or Republican. Here is another interesting fact. Republicans are not all Italians. I thought Italians were republicans because I thought that since Rome was a Republic, sometimes, that only Italians were Republicans. Which explains why I thought Lincoln was Italian. That and why Lincoln had that big wart.

Therefore I think I am letting everyone knows that reads my blog that I am now a candidate for president of the Northern part of America. Not the Southern part. Not that I would not mind being president of that place too! If I was president of both of them then we would not have to worry about illeagle people in either the north or south part of America.

My plan for criminals would to put them all on an airplane and ship them to those countries that don't like us. Let them have a taste of what really bad Americans are and maybe they will say, "Hey those Americans, we were terrorizing, weren't as bad as we thought. Now that we see what kind of other "really bad" Americans there are, we don't want anything to do with any kind of Americans." I got that idea from Castro and Jimmy Carter, so you see I did learn something and have some experience.

I'd let North America in on the drug profits that South America is getting. Why should they have a monopoly. Isn't America suppose to support free enterprise and not monopolies?

I am not married so I could have a "Pick the First Lady" reality show every year just like American Idol. I think celebraties should make up my cabinet because that way instead of income taxes we could just have benefits and concerts. I think people would rather spend money on those things and see their favorite people or bands instead of the tax thing.

I would make "The Daily Show" my press people. All of them.

My Vice President would be someone all Americans will hate so I don't get Assassinated. I got this idea from Bush! See more proven experience I gots.

I got a few more ideas also. Since no one ever reads my blog I probably won't run. I need something called "support!" Well, if anyone ever does, let me know and what you want a president to be so I know what to do. Thanks.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Blinded Mind Eyes

I have a friend who is blind. Which makes me wonder just what blind really is? The amazing thing about my blind friend is that she is writing a book. When someone is blind, writing a book is something the sighted person takes for granted. She is a twin and her sister has sight. It was some strange physical misfortune that she was blind and her sister was not, which is unimportant right now. She can type, on a typewriter, computer, and braille machine more accurately than most people I know. My basic job is to reread what she has written and correct any typing errors for her. I paste and cut for her and had to learn a few rules so she can write. One rule is that when she tells me to stop reading I must. If I continue to read she loses her concentration; so it is important to her for me to stop reading when she asks me to stop. Another thing I must do is be able to really read the words with feeling so she can tell if her writing has meaning. I must pronounce all the words and not skip any. It took me awhile to realize words like a, the, and small insignificant words, can really make a difference if missed and taken for granted. What is impressive is that I only have to read what she has written back to her once or twice and her memory somehow keeps every word, sentence and paragraph in order. For example I was reading a part of her draft and she interrupted me and said, "skip that and go to the part that starts, "While we were sitting around the campfire." Then she can adjust these pages and do all her cut and pasting in her mind. I asked her if she can see words in her mind and she says she just. "knows" what the words are, where they are and what comes next.

This at first seems like it could be a boring enterprise. Sometimes it is when I have to sit and wait while she repeats a section of what she has written out loud. Then somehow I get drawn into her book and the time rushes by. I am at the point where I can almost know when to stop reading without her asking me to stop. It is hard for her because in her mind she can go right to the page, word, paragraph or sentence in her mind in a second, but must wait for me to scroll up or down looking for the page she is mentally at, and I must physically find. Therefore she is waiting for me more than I for her.

She is a very good writer which makes it all the more interesting. She had this wonderful section written which I thought was just fine. Then she started changing and rearranging the feeling of the book and when she was done I was astounded at how much more emotion she developed into her story. It is like another sense that was sharpened because of her physical blindness. She described a scene where she was sitting next to a stream and I could actually feel the water and the ferns she was touching.

I guess I am writing this to encourage anyone who wants an uplifting and emotional experience to find a blind person and take the time to read to them, help them write and be their eyes for awhile. I gaurantee by the time you are done your own blindness will be well on the way to being cured.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Simply simple!

I was jogging around the internet and decided to return to my blog which I was suprised to find that 3 people read one of my blogs. Of course I did not understand the one about the trees but hey! I also discovered some people have trouble with the term "simply." What is the problem with simply being a simple person with a simple mind about simple things? Must everyone who writes on the Internet have some profound message? I just like to mess around with words and ideas and let my simple imagination fly. To me the greatest thing about the Internet Blog thing is that people can be free with their simple thoughts and simple words. That doesn't mean that I am adverse to intelligent thoughts and philosophical ideas that are only for the elite minds of the Internet. I just have more fun admitting I know simply nothing and have simply nothing to offer but just a fun time to write some simple stuff simply.