Simply Abby

My sisters Grandperson had some advice for her classmates:

"Being in a homework group in her class, one of the boys didn't do his homework one night and was given a minus 1 point. Abby decided to relay the following warning:
If you keep forgetting to do your homework, you will continue to get points deducted from your grade and before you know it, you will be kept back in school and pretty soon you will be so behind, you will decide to quit school, then you won't be able to find a job and then you won't have any money and you will end up home less, living in the streets and eating out of garbage cans, from which you will catch nasty bacteria and then you will die. Said male student hasn't forgotten his home work since."

Does not compute.

Computing started with a Commodore 64.  Today it is a 64 bit Windows 8 nightmare with viruses, hackers and spam.  I thought it was going to get easier and for awhile it did.  Now it is complicated to me.  Especially with all the "fix your computer and make it faster'" software that is all over the Internet.  I don't buy a car and then buy brakes after to make it stop.  The brakes worked when I bought the car.  Of course now cars are beginning to get more technology in them and in the future maybe you will have to buy break software.  For a technology that is suppose to have gotten faster and more reliable it seems to have gotten more expensive and unreliable.  Is it only me that thinks this?
Thank God for the people in India.  It seems they are the only ones that know how to fix this stuff.  Plus they are only a phone call away.  Still I continue with my computer and keep coming back like an abused person.  Why for some reason, does this not compute?

Hello Again.

A long time ago I met a person that was going to find the end of the Universe. I saw the same person the other day. It occurred to me that maybe that person did not leave yet. Or, the Universe is much smaller than imagined.

Modern Intelligence.

Who said this: Installing memory is easy. Finding the right memory is the problem. Was it: The Geek Squad or My therapist?

Cheap Military Weapons On Sale Today!

A group of veterans were discussing how America sells weapons and military technology to foreign countries and how sometimes these weapons end up in our enemy's hands. Don't worry one man said America is not stupid enough to sell foreign governments our good weapons or technology. We sell them cheap weapons and inferior technology. Wow! Explained another man. That explains the veteran that just got back from Afghanistan. He lost 2 legs and an arm over there. If the enemy had the good technology and weapons he would have been killed.

Grandparents Giving Gifts.

I recently was contacted by my daughter requesting I discontinue my gift giving.  It seems that she is running out of room.  Five children seem to take up and use  lot of space.  I was a little bummed.  Then I found some great toy box containers online.  I like helping out my daughter.

Look on the bright side.

I once heard someone say. "In order to find out the secret of life one must die." Then he said, What if there is no life after death? If this is true why even bother with the question of life or death at all?" Of course it is lent and he is bummed about fasting.

Why the Pope resigned.

When the Pope found out that: Ash Wednesday, the beginning of lent is 2/13/13. Valentine's day is 2/14/13. He realized that he would not get candy for Valentines Day. So he had to quit.

Stabbing my hand.

I lost a fight with a frozen breakfast sausage. It was stuck to another one. I tried to separate them with a knife. The nurse in the Emergency Room was kind. I found Wattpad on the Internet. I like reading other people's stories. My hand still hurts. I am not laughing. But I am in stitches.

Waiting.

A waitress approaches a table and sees a regular customer sitting alone. Where is your wife? Inquired the waitress. Well after 61 years of marriage she passed on. "I am so sorry," was the saddened reply of the waitress. "Oh it is ok." Comforted the old man. "Like all of us she has been waiting a long time for that to happen." He then ordered, ate and left a good tip. As usual.

Tap and Die.

Tap and die is something my sister use to tell obnoxious males that hit on her.

I just found out it does have something to do with screws but not in a sexual way.

Toilet Seats UP!

The other day I experienced why women get angry when the toilet seat is up. I forgot it was up and fell in. It is a very wet and cold experience and not in a good way. Then I remembered working in a prison and noticed that there are no toilet seats in prison cells. Could that be considered cruel and unusual punishment?

Be good motovation.

My mom was a great motivator. I was being exceptionally bad one day. She very patiently explained to me, "If you don't want to be good and obey me. You better obey God. I can only ground and punish you. He will send you to the fires of hell which are hotter than the fires in a lava filled volcano". "Plus if you are good I give you candy and home baked treats". I became an Altar Boy and went for the baked goods.

Time Travelers

I am a Time Traveler.  I have traveled from 1952 to today.  I have seen changes traveling from past to the future of today.  We are all time travelers.  Each day we begin to travel 24 hours from past,  in the present.  Then at the end of the day we are in the future.  We travel faster when we sleep.  Pay attention to the present it may influence your future as you remember the past.  Travel well and safe.

Christmas Birthdays.

In one of the bible verses Jesus told the apostles.  I did not mind being born on Christmas Day.  It was that Easter Holiday that  really killed me.  Then he gave them all a hug.

Fireplace Memories.

I bought a movie of a burning Fireplace to play on my TV during the Holidays.  I tried to return it because no matter how high I turned up the volume on the fireplace movie,  the room never got warmer.  The clerk told me no returns on them.  I just thought I would warn you. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

Beautiful Pain.

My mother once told me that when a baby dies a thorn grows on a Rose.  This happens to remind us life is full of both beauty and pain.  We must cherish the beauty and pain.  That way we can appreciate life.
My sister died when she was 21 and there was plenty of Roses for her and my family.  When my Mother passed years later at 79.  It rained Rose Peddles on her resting place.

Family Pictures

My friend honored me by showing family pictures she had.  Unlike today's photo's.  These were old, faded, off color and had a unique quality to them.  Sharing them with me was a specially good time making our relationship closer.  Have old family pictures?  Share them and feel the warmth of friendship.  It is a memory photo you may cherish.

Mrs. Farley.

Mrs. Farley lived in my neighborhood and I was friends with her sons.  Mrs. Farley always welcomed me into her home even if her sons were not there.  She even let me still visit after Jimmy stepped in a  nest and we  brought him to her.   We left him in her kitchen so she could help him with his shirt full of angry Wasps.  Thanks Mrs. Farley.

Extreme Christmas Shopping

A friend of mine was with her daughter and were going to their car to go Christmas Shopping.  A car with a "Hugh" enclosed luggage carrier on the top passed and her daughter remarked, "Wow!  Now that is the way to shop!"