Rewrite

I did not like my last post. I am not trying to sell anything just inform but still, I just did not like it. I am not a salesperson. I tried being a drug and alcohol counselor but felt funny charging a fee to help people. So I just do it for free and only if someone asks. Before that I tried to sell drugs but after I got them I would horde them and not tell anyone, so I decided to get sober because it was getting expensive.

I was watching the Last Book of Nostradamus and it seems that the anti-Christ will be born in the dark rift under the sign of Ophiuchus between Scorpio and Sagittarius. That is the 13 sign in Astrology. I was worried but realized I was born in October under Libra so the world is safe with me.

I also read a post that got me thinking about writing. Do people write better or worse when under pressure or a dead line. What is your opinion? Deadlines do get people to write. Me! I just like to do it when the mood suits me and I have fun at it. I'd starve if I had to do it for a living. I wrote one book and it took me 54 years. It took me 25 years to graduate college but only 4 to graduate High School. It almost took 5 but some of the teachers, like my French teacher, promised me if I would not take French III they would pass me. It took me 25 years because I was working, raising a family and going to school. Plus I drank and did a lot of drugs and went to and equal number of concerts. I was in the Coast Guard for 4 years at one point and that was a bit of a break. Anyway after 25 years I graduated with my nephew and the school told me I would graduate if I promised to not sign up for any more classes.

Such is life!

A Simply Chumly Gift For You

The title of this blog "A Simply Chumly Gift For" You is also the title of the book I just wrote and published. You can get it by checking out the AuthorHouse.com link. Type in Simply Chumly in the book section and there it will be. Or just read my blog because that is basically what I published, excerpts from this blog. So I just saved you a few bucks which also means I'll never be rich, oh well.

Anyway, here I sit with 5 and 1/3 pounds of Tootsie Rolls and not one halloweener showed up. I put out a sign Treats for Tricks. Some guy came by looking for hookers. Then I saw a few kids with costumes and yelled, "Hey I got Candy." The policeman was nice but told me I could not yell at the kids and try to attract them like that. So no treats were given out.

Sigh!

The up side is that I really like Tootsie Rolls.

Beep beep beep

It is raining out and my friends are out, sick or busy. My little apartment looks smaller for some reason today and there is nothing I want to see in the movies. So I decided to make a pizza. I took out my little tray of frozen tomatoes, cheese and sauce that is in the form of a round frozen pizza and popped it in the oven. Then I decided to check up on the blogs on my computer. Well one blog led to another and I got into reading what was going on in the blog world. Then all of a sudden I hear the beep beep beep of my smoke alarm going off. The pizza was done. Done and smoking.

I turned off the oven and fanned the smoke away from my alarm. Finally after 2 or 3 minutes it stopped. My neighbors came over because they heard the alarm, the walls are thin in this apartment, and were concerned. I explained the over done pizza and they seemed satisfied, and a little annoyed, with my false alarm.

It was fun. I got the company I needed for a little while and enjoyed my over done treat. Do you have fun with your smoke alarms too?

Across the Universe

Sometimes we come across the universe; fall into memory worm holes in time and space that take us back to times forgotten thru sights and sounds which bring forward to the minds eye the realities of the past. This happens when we watch a simple thing like a movie.

We live in a world where we can now watch our past be filmed, restored, transcribed and reintroduced into our worlds that were once lived and almost forgotten. Not too far ago man relied on his memory and told stories of things adults experienced before the birth of children. The children used their imagination and transported themselves into a fantasy past on newly paved roads of words spoken by past lives.

So today this tradition still exists but is backed up by films and recordings that are as real as rain falling on the sensitivity of ones skin.

The various ages in the seats sit before the passing images of light produced and transported by an invention called film. No film can flicker in the realities of the past events that arise in minds that are pushing aside cobwebs of "I remember" and creating pathways which are being freshly trodden by youth.

One leaves behind an amen once the theater is exited and the tangled nurons of the mind begin to reset and form the humdrum of the present. These moments of life remind us that we have crossed the universe in a darken room with flashing life images then have come back and may or not be pleased with its ending.

A thought of pot should be legal for movies like this may flash across advertisements and reflections which are also peppered with thoughts of hugs and love smoldering through out after brain residues in romantic idealism.

Speed Limited

I finally hit the speed limit of my life. I turned 55 and I am ready to enter the fast lane of life. Well maybe not the real fast lane. I noticed I drive slower when behind the wheel of my car. I even have slowed down on my motorcycle and have been enjoying the scenery more and more. So maybe I am just enjoying the speed limit. I have been working out and have increased my speed on that bike I have been riding that goes no where. That is the thing about riding those exercise bikes they get a bit boring because they do not move and there is not much to see. I enjoy walks better because I get to see trees and tiny furry animals running around. I have been noticing people who drive and are talking on their cell phones more and more. One guy was on his phone and ran a red light. Well half way. He realized he was running the light, stopped halfway thru the light backed up and then hit the car behind him. Another lady was stopped at a light. The light changed from green to red to green to red and back to green. People started to beep their horns at her. She rolled down the window and yelled, "Hey! I'm on the phone here". So then people drove around her. I thought maybe her car was broken, but then she finally drove when the light changed again to red and was on her way. I wonder sometimes about people.

Hello!

Just felt like saying Hello! Hola! Bonjour! and Howdy!

This feels like one of those, "It is going to be a good day today days." The last time I felt like this I was on cloud nine and decided to go to a local fair ground and see a demolition derby and check out some horses, cows, goats and eat lots and lots of fair junk foods. Junk foods is kind of a false statement. At fairs I eat corn, chicken, and a lot of homemade foods. The corn is my favorite. The corn people BBQ it in its natural state, then peel it when it is done and dip it in butter. Fine healthy treat I think. I had a great time and met some people I have not seen in a long time. Then after the shows I decided to go home and found out I parked in a restricted spot and ended up paying $169.00 in fines and almost got my car towed. My side view mirror got broken for some reason too!

This is what confuses me when I have one of those feeling that it is going to be a good day today. Do you have good feelings about a day and does that day turn out good or bad for you?

I do like the good feeling, but I just get anxious what the reality results will end up being.

Nutrition

I have a nutritionist. She is not happy when I visit her. My idea of foods that I think are healthy are a bit different from hers. My idea of fruit is the fruit that is baked in a pie or in ice cream like a banana split. She thinks fresh fruit is what I should eat. We settled on fruit cups. I was using the powered slim fast until she found out I was using chocolate milk instead of non-fat or skim to mix it up.

It is not her fault. I just have a hard time understanding how to eat right. I was brought up by a mother that loved to bake and cook. She was a food pusher and to her a snack or food treat eased every mental and physical pain imanagable.

I understand that one must eat right to stay healthy and I am trying to change my eating habits. It just is not as easy as I thought. I am not so excited about cooking as my mom was. I just got used to having someone cook for me that I never really bothered to cook for myself. Then I got married and my wife fell into the same trap and well, lets just say that when my mother cooked she fed the whole neighborhood.

After my mom passed my wife and I went our seperate ways. I think my mom's cooking kept us together longer than we should have, and that is another story.

New Neighbor

I am getting a new neighbor. My old neighbor moved away and I think she got married or something. I went on vacation and when I got back she was gone. I was working on my computer and I noticed a new woman in the apartment next door. She was cleaning and getting ready to move in. My man antennae was up and I had to stop and look out the window to satisfy my male curiosity. It is strange how I can sense a new woman in the neighborhood. It like sensing rain or just knowing something is going on but not knowing just what it is. I wonder if women have this same sense when a new man is around? Something inside me just awakens. Then there is the excitement and expectations of that first meeting. I almost ran out and introduced myself but I was right in the middle of a paragraph and I had to finish it first. It was too late by then and she was gone. I have to write shorter sentences in the future. I like this feeling. She is kind of pretty too. I am short and look 9 or 10 months with child. I am beginning to work out but maybe she will see me as a safe fat guy. That would be OK. I just want to be a friendly neighbor for now. Plus she looks young enough to be my daughter. Come to think of it all the women I noticed lately seem young enough to be my daughter. What is up with that? Where are all the women my age anyway? Are all women over 50 in hiding or do they notice me and really do hide? Whatever. I dream of getting a bigger apartment. The first thing I will get is a cat. The women will have to wait. Nice to be friendly though and being friendly is what I am looking forward to with my new neighbor. Who knows maybe she likes to cook and I'll get a free meal now and then. Now that is something to look forward to.

Blocked Ears

I ride a motorcycle. The wind blows thru my hair and I do not get earaches. I ride in a convertible and I do not get blocked ears. I ride with my window down in my Chevy Blazer and now I cannot hear. Why? What in the rides is different that caused my ears to get shut down?

I went to the Doc and he gave me medicine to help but I am pretty much deaf. I noticed I am calmer for some reason. Is it because I cannot hear traffic noises or children screaming or other audible distractions that occur when I have normal hearing? Does this mean that deaf people are more mellow than people that can hear?

I was with a friend the other day and he was working on a car. He had problems and was cursing the car, the tools and anything else he could curse when things went badly for him. I could not really hear him and I kind of liked it because I did not feed off his anger. It felt kind of good. I had coffee with him and his wife later on and they had an argument but I just sat there and enjoyed the coffee because I could hardly hear what was going on. I really enjoyed their company that day.

It has been kind of hot and I have a loud air conditioner. With these blocked ears I can hardly hear the air conditioner noises and I am sleeping better and am enjoying the cooler apartment more.

So in a way, my failure to put the windows up in the car and getting blocked ears turned out not to be so bad. So sometimes when bad things happen they can turn out pretty good!

Novena

Summer time I get a little lazy writing. I have been fishing in that boat I wrote about.

Anyway.

Summer time is also Novena time. Where I live there is a church, Basilica, that has a 10 day Novena. For those of you who do not know what a Novena is let me explain.

It is mostly to give old people that are close to death something to do for the next 10 days. If they survive the 10 days, they get to pray and get right with God so they can get to heaven safely. A novena usually has a Saint that is good at getting one into heaven and grants a few miracles. Although praying for the miracle of winning the lottery or winning at the local casino is not recommended but still people pray to win.

Some of the activities at the novena is of course praying and going to church. Then there are the dinners the church provides, the bus trip to get to the novena and there are candles to light and religious articles to buy. The nuns even make special bread and sell it. You get to go to confession, talk to a priest and tell him your sins and stuff, and meet a lot of other old people that have the same ailments and socialization is a big part of the novena.

The priests practice all year round doing their sermons and only the best priests get to win the honor of being the preacher for those special novena days. Usually the jokes they have are pretty good that they incorporate into their sermons. Then at the end of the novena you get the special blessing of the Saint the novena is about.

The novena is held outside, during good weather, and the little children have fun rolling around in the grass and eating Popsicles they get from the food stands.

So there it is, for 10 days you can eat, get fresh air and make arrangements to get into heaven. Parking is plentiful and you can buy a brick, put your name on it and be part of the holy walkway to get to the novena. It's fun to find your brick and show your friends too just where your brick on the walkway is.

Boat Repair

I bought myself a new old boat and trailer. Old in the sense it was made in 1978, new in the sense I never owned it before. It is an aluminum row boat and does not have one leak. The previous owners took excellent care of it. The boat trailer, well that is another story. The wheels are good, but it needed new lights and some of the trailer parts were dry rotted and had to be replaced. I had the idea to glue, instead of drilling holes, in order to attach a cleat to hold my anchor rope. Unfortunately I am not good with glue and got it on my shirt, arms, pants, face and hands. It was good glue because after I was done I drove my car and my hands stuck to the steering wheel. Only a little skin came off when I wrenched my hands free.

The anchor is an old HC fruit drink can filled with concrete. So it isn't very heavy but just good enough to hold the boat in place. Except when it is windy. Still fishing is fun for me and I am not big on catching much just enjoying the day. The oars were a little beat up. Half the paddles were missing on each oar and they were kind of dry and warped. So I decided to replace them. I was given an old electric motor with it and man I never saw anything like this thing. It is small and has a picture of Edison on it. It does work and gets me around though. Then I noticed that the car battery that was used with it did not keep the charge long. I may replace that.

Finally I got some old pants and turned them into shorts to fish in. Old things are fun to do new things to them. Any new old projects in your life?

The brick in the wall

Did you ever watch one of those movies that enraptures you, takes you over and you forget the outside world. The movie 'The Wall' and that Pink Floyd music does that to me. The main thing is this movie makes me think and hits upon some points that have risen in my life like swords that have given me pain and pillows that have given me rest. There is a lot I do not understand, that is in the movie, but isn't that what life is. A series of questions that are never fully answered but give just enough insight to ask more questions and seek those ever elusive answers.

Yep! Once in awhile a movie comes along that does that to me. I am sure you have a movie that has done that to you. This is a good thing to get our brains refreshed with ideas and insights that need our attentions. It is good to be in awe for awhile and sit back and suck in all that the movie can offer. It is better when the movie is over and there is that hunger for more. Not a sequel but the time to get into ourselves and our existence and savor the electrical impulse in our minds that have awakened and given life to our souls.

The Wall does this to me when I watch it.

Those Sandra Bullock and Robin Williams movies do something to me too, but it is best I don't get into them just now. I enjoy them in a very very different way.

Cows

I had a hamburger the other day and I began to think about cows. One of my thoughts were, "I wonder how many places sell hamburgers in the United States? How many McDonalds, Burger Kings and just restaurants are there out there?" Then I went even further in my mind and expanded them to the world. Then I remembered the cattle mutilations that the aliens do and had to expand my question into the universe. Let us not forget the supermarkets that sell hamburger and other food for sale places. This led me to believe that a lot of people eat hamburger. Thus we must kill a lot of cows every day just for hamburger. Where do these unfortunate cows come from? How big is this cow Holocaust anyway? What really boggled my mind was that ad I saw on TV that said 100% cow hamburger beef! Is it really 100%? Then I thought about chickens and how many places served them and sold them in market places. Does the earth really have enough cows and chickens to feed us forever? How do those chickens get passed breakfast? All those scrambled, boiled and easy over eggs, when are they born?

Somehow the math does not add up. If we eat that many cows and chickens, how are they surviving to make more. If the lucky ones live to have sex to make more chickens and cows don't they die from too much sex?

So beware! Are we really eating those cows and chickens or maybe just maybe that Solient Green movie isn't so far off. Maybe we are eating ground up people hamburger. Nah! Chicken wise no way. After all not many humans I know have those little wings and drumsticks growing out of their elbows or where ever they would grow on a human. The hamburger? That I wonder about though.

Together with oneself

Did you ever feel alone when you are with people by yourself? This happens to me sometimes. I am with people but feel I am isolated from them even though I am sitting with them at the same kitchen table. This feeling often arises when I am with couples and I am uncoupled and with no one but me. Sometimes the couples are fighting with each other or one couple is fighting and me and the other couple are watching and listening and sometimes no one is really talking and that thunderous silence is storming around the kitchen. Even with all that happening I still feel outside and not really present with others sometimes. I do have conversations with all the people there, but feel more comfortable petting the dog or cat that happens to live in the home I am visiting. Little babies and kids are good because I don't really have to converse or seem intelligent with them. All I have to do is pay them a little attention and they are happy.

I do like being with people. I like parties when there are a lot of people around because I like to watch and listen to what is going on and I like all the distractions that are happening all at once.

When it finally comes down to it, I guess I could be happy by myself in a space station out in outer space also. I like my solitude and my time alone. I am a good hermit at times but I do like having a pet around. I am better with cats but a friendly ol mutt is fun to have around.

I would not be good being famous and have 'groupies' and 'people' around me. I probably would feel more isolated having to deal with hang around crowds.

Fortunately I am just me with a pleasant number of good friends. Even though I feel like I do sometimes, those times with my friends in their kitchen are still the best no matter how I feel.

Under it

I have not been writing because I am feeling a little under the weather. Which is ok because not too many people visit me anyway. So it you do not see any recent posts for awhile, sorry. I will be back when I get back on my feet. Nothing serious just dealing with some down time stuff. Thanks

Cake

Having a craving for cake. Just a big ol' hunk of cake any kind. Chocolate, marble, angel, or whatever. I just want cake.

I have been meeting nice people lately. I met a great waitress at my local Chinese Buffet place. She was super nice and had a great smile the whole time I was there. As a matter of fact I have been eating out a lot lately and have met some great waitresses. Waitresses seem to be the unsung hero's in life. My sister was a waitress. When I went to visit her at her place of work she would not serve me until I told her what kind of tip she was getting. Sometimes I'd have to give her the tip first. I did not mind. I thought it was kind of funny. She was a terrific waitress. No complaints. I brought a lot of my friends in and she did the same thing to them. She was a hit with my buddies. She was no nonsense and they appreciated that. She went on to become a teacher and got a lot of respect from her students.

Have you met anyone special lately. Let me know. Sometimes meeting strangers turn into friendships. That seems to be rare today.

Salute

I went to the VA Hospital in Philadelphia to have an eye operation. My doctor did a great job. So did the anesthesiologist, nurses and other staff members. I salute them. They are the people we don't mention often that take care of us Vets. Plus as one other patient said after his operation, "That pretty Asian Doctor did a good job."

We have come so far, but still stop at those stereotypes once in awhile. We don't entirely see the person as a doctor, but a black, white, Asian, Russian, Indian or whatever color or nationality is represented, individual. I guess that is human nature.

It reminds me of the story of a guy in New York City. He sees a pretty Asian woman. He goes up to her and asks, "How do you say Hello in your language?" She looks at him and says, "Hello!" Then ads, "I was born in America as were my parents and grandparents."

My doctor is pretty though. So where all the other members of her staff. Yes! All were female, another stereotypical subject, and I felt I was in an operating room full of angels. So much so that I am thinking of hurting my other eye, just to get them to operate on me again.

12/21/2012

I was watching the History Channel and it seems a lot of people who predict the future think that that is when the world is going to end. Which makes me believe that 12/20/2012 is going to be a very busy and different day. One thing anyone can predict is that, if the world does not end on 12/21/2012 then a lot of babies will probably be born after 8/21/2013.

The world has been predicted to have ended already a few times. We are still here. Yet, one day the world will end and the person who predicts it will never get to say, "I told you so." So why bother to predict something you cannot possibly cash in on?

Some of the signs I will be looking for that the world will end are:

Cows stop giving milk and no ice cream will be made. All of a sudden everything on TV will be reruns. No one will be buying Christmas presents until after 12/21/2012.
All the planets will line up with the sun and the planets larger than the sun will block out the sunlight so the smaller planets won't get any light for awhile. All credit will be canceled and all debts will have to be paid by the beginning of December 2012. All New Year Celebrations for the year 2013 will be canceled.

I'd like to write more but due to the limited time left, I decided I got a few things to take care of in case the world does end on 12/21/2012. or 12/21/12 notice it is all 12. The middle 12 is reversed. Maybe that is a sign that the prediction can be reversed also.

What do you think. What will be a sign the world will end for you?

Live for real!

Sometimes I think everyone is their own live TV show. They just don't realize it because there is no audience or laugh track. There seems to be plenty of advertisements though.

Everyday we live on a script some people say "Fate" has written for us. All we have to do is just go along with what happens. Most of the time things that do happen are not planned anyway. Not in my life. Even when I plan things about 80 or 90% of what I planned really happens and that is a high estimate. Usually the percentage is much much lower than that. Basically we are great at improvisations and winging it thru life. I guess what I am trying to say is we all know the script is constantly changing.

We have it all too. Drama, comedy, romance, or whatever script you can imagine. Sometimes we are our own documentaries too. That is what I call reflection.

Those advertisements I was talking about is when we need things like food, clothing, and shelter. That is when our mind goes thru a list of things we want, need, or just crave like chocolate.

I like to think the people we meet are like our guest stars or supporting cast and we also have our villians too, even though we don't want them.

The daily script usually plays out and we go to bed hoping that the curtain of death does not end or cancel our show.

If this isn't a sign I have been watching too much TV then I don't know what is?
Now if I can just figure out how to change the channel when something goes wrong, my life will be a hit.

No notes needed.

Sometimes I get an idea on what I want to write about but I am too busy at the time to blog. So I depend on my memory and later on when I have time to write. The memory is gone. You would think I should have learned by now. What I do is write the whole blog in my mind, file and store it and somehow it gets deleted in time.

I had an idea about the reason we see less and less UFO's is because maybe the Aliens have a gas shortage or fuel problem and it is too expensive to visit planet Earth as much as they wanted. Then I had some ideas on death and then those ideas died with a few of my brain cells.

Those stories I have made up in my mind just sounded so good at the time I thought they would never leave. They unfortunately do and seem to never return.

Is it old age? I blame everything on getting older. This is starting to wear off. Just because I age doesn't mean I have to deteriorate in my brain all the time. I should give my brain some credit. It has gotten me this far.

How far is far? At the starting line of life, at birth, the race began. I just forget where the finish line is and why the heck am I running anyway. So I like to sit an rest once in awhile and relax. Then that old competitive spirit comes leaking in my brain and says, "Hey, get up and run before you lose the race of life."
Then I get up and start running blindly thru life again.

Well that's it. This is what I thought to write about. Next time I'll try to take notes and try to write something better. How do you get inspired?

U.F.O

I had a UFO happen to me the other day. That is an Unforeseen Frantic Occurrence.
I was in a doctors office and was getting ready for a procedure to be done on me. I had my x-rays done, blood tests etc. all done. The last thing I had to do was see Charlie, the nurse who was suppose to do the last test on me. Nothing important just measure my eyes for the cataract procedure that was to be done on me. Dr. Darlene told me to sit in a chair and wait for Charlie; he would be right out. After a few minutes Charlie came out smiled at me while he waved to the other nurses in the hallway then disappeared.

After a few more minutes I felt kind of strange sitting there. Another nurse was passing and I asked her, "Where did Charlie go?" "Charlie?", she thoughtfully repeated then said "Oh, Charlie just left to get married and he won't be back until a week from now."

I then kind of panicked and made what one would be considered a "scene" as I jumped up and yelled, "What? He is suppose to measure my eyes for the operation that is to be done before he gets back." The nurse looked shocked and told me to run out to the receptionist to see if she could catch Charlie for me. So I ran down the hall and bashed thru some doors and pounded on the receptionist desk saying, "I need Charlie".

Alas Charlie was well on his way to his honeymoon. Then at the height of my anguish and mind filled with thoughts of now what do I do. Dr. Darlene showed up and patted me on the back and said, "Sorry, there is another Charlie. He is not getting married and well, I forgot there were two Charlie's that worked in the same department.

I did meet the real Charlie and everything was measured and I am ready to get fixed up. It was also true this Charlie was not getting married or going on a honeymoon. He told me 3 or 4 times to reassure me.

Such was my Unforeseen Frantic Occurrence. Does this happen to others? Or is it just me living in the outer space of these U.F.O'S.

Elevator Shafted

Got stuck in an elevator today with 8 other people. It was on my 100 things to do before I die list.

I never did get stuck on an elevator. I've seen it in comedy sketches and I along with most of the other people took it in as kind of funny. One guy was in a panic and kept saying he was afraid of being stuck in small places. Which was strange because just before we entered the elevator he was telling every one how he was a sailor in a nuclear submarine and would go three months at a time without surfacing. So when he all of a sudden was afraid of being stuck in a well lit elevator for 30 minutes or so, questions arose in my mind about his submarine stories.

One woman was afraid because she was late for work the day before, and was on her cell phone trying to convince he boss she would be late again today because she was stuck in an elevator. Another woman was told her car was going to be towed unless she got to the garage to try to prevent it. She was kind of a panic and yelling into her phone, "Don't tow my car, I'm stuck in an elevator". Then she held up her phone and we all start shouting, yes it's true she is stuck in an elevator with us.

I tried to lighten up the crowd and started a game. If you were stuck in an elevator who would you want to be stuck with. I said Sandra Bullock, to start it off. Everyone looked at me and it got kind of quiet and no one else played. Then someone else had the idea the doors were going to open and someone was going to say we were punked. One older gentleman said he read his horoscope and it said he was going to be on CNN. He imagined the doors would open and a camera crew would be there.

We took inventory of our stuff. I had bought two pair of shorts so and we had extra clothes. One lady had a bottle of water and another person had a bag with 2 subway sandwiches in it. Then there was a book someone else had so we had something to read. Plus we had pens and the ladies had all kind of stuff in their purses so we seemed to be in pretty good shape. This all took about 20 minutes.

Then for about 15 minutes someone banged on the outside doors of the elevator, which caused the elevator to shake and stuff.

Finally the doors were forced open and 2 policemen a paramedic and two elevator workers freed up. They asked if we were OK, took our names and gave us a number if we developed any elevator trauma later in the day as a result of our elevator ordeal. One woman turned to me and said, "By the way, I'm Sandra Bullock." She made my day.

This all happened at the VA hospital in Philadelphia. So if you call them they will confirm this story. Well thats another adventure recorded and passed on to you to be remembered or not and logged into your, "useless information file in the library in your mind".

Antioxidants

Well here we go being anti again. First it was anti bacon and greasy foods because of heart disease. Which is good, someone is looking after our health. Now it is antioxidants.

What are oxidants and why are they bad? Unfortunately oxidants are waiting to happen. Everyday there are oxidants. Big oxidants and small oxidants. Oxidants can happen in the home, at work, in school and everywhere. Oxidants happen to the young and old and all nationalities and races. In every country in every nook and cranny of the world there are oxidants. The big thing is banning them from our drinks. I have seen bottles and bottles of fitness water advertising there are no oxidants in these drinks.

Wait a minute. They say there are antioxidants in their drinks? Are they saying that there is something in the water that would make us anti against oxidants? What next? Could they now make food that would make us be anti against other things because they got away with putting anti stuff in our drinks?

I may have to rethink this. In the mean time be careful what you drink it may bring you anti-think against something or someone you know.

Ad not!

Sometimes I wonder about ads on TV. I mean how could I trust having a credit card that my elephant can take and charge things with it. I mean how secure would that card be. If they did not question the elephants purchases, how hard would it be for a person to use it without my consent?

Then there is Jesus and God. I only mention this because it is Passover and Easter and the time of year when God, is kind of on everyones mind. It seems that some people get angry about reading or seeing the words "In God we Trust or one nation under God.

Yet!

A lot of comedy is done about Jesus and God on the Daily Show or Conan O'Brian. (It was kind of funny when the Easter Bunny was tasered by those priests and Jesus was eating the chocolate bunny ears). The Jesus jokes and stuff make people laugh. I guess God and Jesus have a sense of humor. Forgive the comic for he does not know he jokes about. The world is still here, sometimes, a couple of hurricanes and overly big waves are Gods answer for a bad joke or two.

You can take God out of politics but you can't take God out of comedy, or so it seems. Which is good. Therefore I guess we need God not only in church but in a few joke books too. I'm sure there is some humor in the Bible. I always thought Adam and Eve wearing fig leafs was kind of a hoot. The line, "have I got a plague for you if you don't let my people go." Probably keep Moses laughing on Mt. Sinai with God a for awhile.

Happy Easter, Passover or whatever God holiday you may be celebrating.

So be it and Amen too!

Just thinking.

Mavis is a lady and has blond hair. Then all ladies named Mavis have blond hair.

Which could be true, because I don't know too many ladies named Mavis. In fact I don't know anyone named Mavis with or without blond hair. I just made up the name because I was thinking about the above brain question that is suppose to help me think rationally. So, since I do not know any Mavis's let me rewrite the question.

Today George Bush is president of the United States. Today all the presidents of the United States are named George Bush.

Got myself again I think.

John is a human being and alive. All people named John will live until they die.

Ok. I know that this is not making sense again.

Well! So much for rational thinking. What I am trying to do is get myself to not fall into a trap. The trap would be something that would relate someone to one thing and then relating that one thing to everyone else, or not.

What can I say this is what insomnia does to me sometimes. I write confusing thoughts when I am tired. Therefore anyone who is tired and writes without sleep can write scattered thoughts.

I give up. Have a nice day and if you figure out what I am trying to say, please drop me a note. One more thing if you meet anyone named Mavis let me know if she has blond hair. Thanks.

Easter Parade

I like parades. As a young child I remember the song, "Easter Parade." A great little tune about spring and people dressing up and, well, it was just a joyfull little song. I thought about this while watching a movie about a Serial Killer in Korea.

In this movie, the people in this town in Korea, were lined up to see a parade come by with their president in it. It reminded me of the parades we see in New York around Easter, St. Patrick's day and other parade occasions. They, the Korean people, all looked happy standing around waiting for this president to come. The year was around 1983 or 1986. I am not sure but around that time. I did not know if it was North or South Korea. Just Korea.

Anyway.

Someone yells here comes the president. All of a sudden they show a lone armored vehicle coming down the street and everyone starts to yell, throw rocks and flaming bottles at the armored vehicle. It had everything a parade would have had except I did not see the balloon vendor that usually hangs around parades. So after the parade I do not know if the kids got balloons or not.

Now, here in the U.S.A. we don't normally throw rocks or flaming bottles, but then again the president is rarely in any of the parades anyway. Yes, and we do have a balloon vendor.

So I was just thinking about other countries that have parades and what their parades are usually like. Different cultures, different traditional parade activities I guess.

So tell me about your parade traditions. I really would not mind hearing about them.

Oh! Don't forget not to Passover Easter, thanks.

Veteran Health Care

How to navigate the Veteran Health Care System for Disabled Veterans and Veterans that use the Veteran Health Care System.

For 911 emergencies. The Veterans calls the hospital then puts on his old uniform. The Veteran then must lay in his or her yard and scream MEDIC at the top of his lungs until help arrives. Once the helicopter comes the veteran will firmly secure him/herself into the basket.

For regular appointments the veterans must get there early. The veteran will be waited on by other disabled veterans who are hard of hearing, a little blind, with a touch of arthritis, to wait on all Veterans.

After standing in line for about 5 to 10 minutes or an hour. The Veteran can talk to the other Veteran patients. Most Veterans swap war stories about the Korean War, World War II, WWI, Vietnam, Civil and Spanish American Wars.

Grenada, Panama, Desert Storm and Iraq War Veterans are considered rookies and will learn the proper way to enhance their experiences by listening to the above Veterans stories of older conflicts.

Veterans in wheel chairs are the best people for information about past altercations with other countries. Notice how Veterans argue and disagree about their outfits, units, companies, ships, etc. they served in. Common arguments consist of how their duty stations were more dangerous than anyone else's. Sometimes wheel chair Veterans play chicken in their wheel chairs to settle arguments in the hallways. This is especially interesting because usually their legs have no feeling and the crashes they create are better than the ones in NASCAR.

It is also not uncommon to see people on crutches arguing with the wheel chair Vets and sometimes they end up pulling the air tubes out of each others machines.

Be aware that a young woman is usually not a nurse but a relative of the Veteran helping him spend his benefit monies.

If a Veteran argues with a receptionist, secretary, doctor or nurse. The security staff will intervene and the Veteran must wait an extra hour for his medication in the Pharmacy. If the Veterans causes a serious situation he must return his meds and come back the next day to retrieve them from the Pharmacy.

No VA Doctor is an American Citizen. Most are all interns training to be doctors. Sometimes the doctor is a Veteran of the same War the Veteran was in, but unfortunately the doctor was on the side the Veteran was fighting against. So it is with the up-most importance that the Veterans be friendly to all senior medical personnel.

The Veterans should be able to understand Eastern, Asian, European and the language the Doctors from India speak.

The Veteran does not have to worry about parking in handicapped spaces because all the parking spaces are handicapped.

In Pennsylvania, Transportation is provided to all veterans with cancer to go to Philadelphia and New York and get treatment. The local VA hospitals do not provide these services so be prepared to travel 3 to 4 hours one way for a half hour treatment. The bus usually leaves for NY or Philadelphia at 5 or 6 in the morning and then leaves NY or Philadelphia 4 or 5 in the afternoon. This is so that the Veteran will be tired and sleep in the bus so Veteran will be quiet for the entire trip. Extra medication is given for the return trip.

In a waiting room at the Va hospital never ever assume that the Veteran sitting next to you is sleeping. Check his pulse every 10 or so minutes to be sure he is not having a heart attack or stroke.

Veterans with behavioral problems and are a constant annoyance to staff will be automatically sent to the Walter Reed Facility.

Enjoy your stay at the VA and remember that there are HMO's out there that could be far worse.

Loss for words

The strange and wonderous thing about life is that it is strange and wonderous. Bizzare and wierd can be thrown into the mix or recipe of life, I suppose. Which can be amusing to some and horrific to others.

Life goes on the way life goes on. We turn the clocks back in Autumn and ahead in or near Spring. Why? Why not everyone else does. If we don't, it would just make our lives difficult and we would never be on time.

That is not what I am writing about. I wanted to write something profound, funny and important enough for people to remember my words. I failed.

I did learn that it is important to not just empty the frozen food bag of food into the bowl and then nuke it in a microwave. I learned to check the bag because the gravy is in another bag inside the original bag. That little gravy bag has to be thawed then opened and mixed in with the frozen vegetables and frozen meat or pasta then cooked. I forgot about that little gravy bag and nuked everything all together. The little gravy bag melted a little and well, I should not have eaten it. I now prefer the flu to food poisoning any day.

Maybe next time I can write something profound, funny and important. Until then I am going to stick to fast foods like McDonald's, pizza, or sandwich places like Subway for awhile and forget the frozen foods.

Any one else out there have food stories, feel free to share with me. I also learned before you cook a turkey. You have to take out a bag that has a neck and stuff in it before cooking that hidden bag also.

Days to delete.

Did you ever enter a swim meet and loose your swimming trunks during the race? Did you ever walk your daughter down the isle when she got married and find out afterwords that your zipper was wide open? Did you ever stand in a tree stand while hunting. Shoot a double barrel shot gun and end up laying under the tree stand in pain? Did you ever enter a bar the next day after a night of drinking and everyone stands up and gives you a standing ovation? Did you ever pull over for an ambulance while driving. Light up a not so legal smoke, roll down the window and blow smoke into the State Troopers face that just pulled you over for running a stop sign?

I have.

These are the days I would have liked to delete in my life. Unfortunately the memories of these experiences pop up like pimples on the end of my nose; in my brain now and then. Memories I really don't like to remember, but there they are.

I have stopped drinking and smoking, over 17 years now, but still things continue to happen. I have lost jobs by joking with my bosses. Like the time I told my boss how much fun it was sneaking stuff past the guards, while working in a prison. The time I chased an Austic child threw the woods. He did not like to wear clothes, took them all off and streaked thru his neighborhood. As I tried to catch him and get him redressed the Security Guards watched and thought I was chasing him for criminal reasons.

Did you ever have one of those days? Please let me know. Hopefully it will cheer me up knowing I am not the only one who has had days that need to be deleted, changed, forgotten, fixed or just wished never happened.

Certified 100% Normal.

I hate it when someone takes my picture. I hate it more when they take the picture; make Wanted Posters of it and then put it in the Post Office. I hate it because strange people point at me and make rude comments and I end up usually telling the police I have friends with a sick sense of humour. My friends do things like this, because I don't forward their stupid emails and they end up having bad luck. That is what I hate. Today anyway.

I use to work in the Mental Health field. I enjoyed being with them. Like Autistic Children. They seem to me to just live in different rooms than us, in their minds, most of the time. Sometimes you end up in the same room some times you don't. They see things differently than "normal" people that is all. Like when I tried to talk to them or something. I felt like they were seeing me as a talking pickle or something. Now who in their right mind would listen to a talking pickle? Not me. So why should they?

It is the same way with Schizophrenic type people. Like one child asked me. If I talk to God like what you call, praying. Why isn't it OK when he talks to me?

Then there is the Downs Syndrome child that thought people without round faces and eyes looked ugly and scary to him. Plus they actually got married and had babies. How could they do that to each other? He asked me once.

See. Strange but true. The old question, "Just what the hell is normal any way?" Well I sure as heck don't know. That is enough for now I got to take my Prozac, which I take while having my special smoke for my failing eyesight. Now it's time to do something special with some pictures of my friends.

Against all medical advise.

Why don't we just shorten Valentines Day to just, "Hey Honey happy V.D.!" Then give up the kisses and flowers?

Which is why I was thinking about depression.

It seems that on Holidays people get depressed. On Valentines day because they have no Valentine, on Christmas because their family hates them, or on Presidents day because their credit cards are maxed out. Whatever, people get depressed.

It is because of this I think we need an official National Depression Day. We can't call it a holiday because holidays are suppose to be fun. So maybe we can call it a Un-holiday or Non-holiday.
To make it legal we can just call it a National Sick Day, or Breakdown Day or some kind of Mental Breakdown Day.

On this day we should recognize depression and make the most of it. Stay in bed all day, unless staying in bed makes us happy. So we need to do things that make us depressed all day. Now this may sound like it is against all medical advise, and it is. But, I think there could be benefits. Like after being depressed for 24 hours, maybe the day after the Depression Day might make us think. Well today has to be better than being depressed for 24 hours. It is just a thought.

What if I was going somewhere and someone else got there before I did. What if I did not know the person who got there first? That would make me wonder, "Did they go there for the same reason or some other reason?" They might be wondering something too.

Well that just makes me think that if the Depression Day doesn't work out maybe the Paranoia day would.

WYOU for You

The Super Bowl is over and I was watching Criminal Minds on CBS. I got involved in the show and then right when the last few minutes of the show was ready to end. The local TV Station, that advertises WYOU is the Station for You, cut off the ending of Criminal Minds and switched to a local show that people called in to vote for their favorite Super Bowl commercial. It was worse than the time I was right at the peak of a sex act when I found out we parked on train tracks and a train was coming instead of me or her.

So in an apology to David Letterman, but in honor of CBS I wrote the Top 10 things that should be done to the people that cut off the last few minutes of Criminal Minds.

10. Terminate the idots without any severance pay.
9. Transfer them to the Weather Channel.
8. Make them inventory products on one of those 24-hour shows that sells things.
7. They cannot have any more Texas Wieners or pizza for lunch.
(Big things for lunch in my area.)
6. They cannot turn right on a red light when driving.
5. They must be displayed in a stockade in front of the CBS building.
4. Make them ride the Subways in NY wearing only a thong.
3. Have them clean the false teeth for all employees of CBS for 1 year.
2. Make them watch all the Super Bowl commercials from Super Bowl I to
Super Bowl XLI, XLI times.
1. Have them die horrible deaths on all the CSI shows.

If you can think of more feel free to add on. I would not have been so mad but I am a Raiders fan and it was tough enough watching the game without them. Then to cut off Criminal Minds, sorry ref throws a big red flag to WYOU on this one.

Miscast Movies

I think Michael Jackson would have made a better Willie Wonka than Johnny Depp. I also think that Howard Stern would make a great "Spiderman" and Macaully Culkin would be super in "Hannible Rising".

(Please note that some of the names/words in this post may be spelled incorrectly because I do not know how to spell them. They are real entertainers nonetheless).

My reasoning is that actors that are closer in real life to the characters might pull better box office sales.

Like Howard Stern, for instance, pulls people into his web with his new Satellite Radio stuff. Michael and Macaully should be self explanitatory.

I just noticed that "Flyboys" looks like a remake of "Hells Angels"" made by Howard Hughes. This is ok because when Howard made that movie it was like one of the first talking pictures. Also because most of the people who saw the original "Hells Angels" are dead anyway. Even the people that made the "Hells Angel" movie have mostly passed. I only realized this because I just watched the "Aviator." Leo Dicaprio did do a good job, in the "Aviator", but maybe John Travolta could have given it a shot. Provided maybe John T. died in that crash that hit the houses during the test flight. Then again I also like Jack Black as Howard Hughes, now Jack is really crazy.

As for actresses, don't get me started. Rosie O'Donnel in the "Piano" forget about it. Barbara Walters, great Nanny McPhee. These are just a few of my ideas that popped into my head.

I am writing this fast because I was just diagnosed with adult ADD. So I have to get it down before I get distracted and begin writing about something else.

Which reminds me I have to forward some emails before I get bad luck. Like I don't have enough bad luck already with some pain in the butt sending me emails about God. If I don't forward them something will happen to me that will be worse than what happened to Sodom and Gomorrah. Which is something I don't want to get myself into.

That bible stuff really gets to me, you know.

First Ghost?

Who became the first ghost? The bible's first death was when Cain killed Able. Aparently God did not work death into his creations because he had to ask Cain where his brother was. Able did not lie very well and God discovered what happened. He punished Cain and possibly forgot about Able and so Able became a ghost. Then God went on creating and Adam and Eve died and as the years went on so did a lot of other people. Now God either began recycling everybody, as some religions decided, or he just did not know what to do with dead people spirits. I say spirits because the dead people kept popping up now and then to scare the heck out of living people, or vica versa, and well somebody in history named them spirits.

Civilizations became somewhat civilized and noticed that these spirits were bothersome and some one thought up an after life. The rituals and stuff started, which was better than letting the dead body lay around stinking in the sun all day.

Then Jesus came along and the whole resurrection idea began to take hold. Now these so called spirits had a place to go. Unfortunately not all of them knew about resurrection stuff or Jesus, and did not know where to go.

Some other religious leaders did not want Jesus to have a monopoly on death and all kinds of ideas of heaven and hell began to become more and more plausable to all kinds of peoples all over the place.

Today dead people look for a light or something, but still some get lost and are stuck in buildings or places which are very old.

There are people that say they can talk to the dead and help them get to where ever it is one is suppose to go after one dies. You would think that when some of the people died that could talk to these dead people. That maybe after they died, they would be more helpful once they also became dead. Like Moses I would think they could get those previouosly dead people to follow them up and out to the light or where ever.

It must have something to do with memory because after all we do still have spirits.

So unless before one dies there is some one to tell them something like. "OK you are dying now. So don't forget to just leave and not hang around being a pesky spirit. Ok?" Then the problem is solved, at least for the one that knows he/she is dying. If one dies suddenly then it's a crap shoot?

Still who was the first ghost and why? Which brings me to another question. Did the cavemen come before or after Adam and Eve?

There been again

Reruns on TV are one thing. Remakes of old movies are another. Rewrites of old books may have new covers but the same words. Repeats in life? Now that is another series of films that seems to re-collide into pages of memories.

I was watching the new Willie Wonka film that turned out to be the old Willie Wonka film with a new licorice twist, so to speak. I liked the old one better. Which brought me to write about life and going thru the real Old Willies and pondering the New Willies of reality.

When I was young, radio and television was young along with record players and mail that people actually wrote, put into envelopes then stamped with a little spit. The new old cliche of people my age really did not last long. Past generations dwelt in the past for generations after generations. My generation progressed so fast, in the last 100 years, that new thoughts and ideas only last a week or less. Sometimes not even a day!

That is the way it is suppose to be. Today anyway.

Things are going by so swiftly that paragraphs are reduced to a sentence or two.

History is repeating itself. Only faster. With so much going on so quickly the norm seems to be Attention Deficit Disorders gone wild. Our synapses are firing so many times that they cannot keep up with themselves making fried brains to be the breakfast of the future.

This is good.

Finally the 90% of our brains that have been dead the last million or so years are beginning to wake up.

Unless. Maybe every million or so years our brains will grow another 10% for a 100 or so years. Then they will hibernate and go back to sleep for another million or so years. If that happens how many remakes of Willie Wonka can we stand? How many Lucy, Sienfield, or Saturday Night Live reruns can we handle? Will the same books keep rolling off the presses with new covers and the same words?

Wait a minute. A generation only really lasts for a hundred or so years then it dies out. So why am I bothering to write about this now. Well I am 54. That means if I live to be 100..................
Damn that is still a lot of reruns. remakes and rebooks I have to live thru.

I promise I will only write this once. So pay attention please. I am starting a redo revolution.

Unless I get paid for them.

How will you rethink all this?

Words

Well my Sad dam blog did not go over too big. I am wondering why only the guards were allowed to bring their cell phones to the hanging though?

Whatever!

I was thinking about words today. Since I use them a lot it was easy to think about them.
I was at this New Years Eve party and the people there were talking about words that seemed innocent but had sexual or other meanings. The word that was the subject of conversation was.
twat.

There seemed to be three meanings to this word.

1. Twat: Sound made when one snaps their thumb and finger into the side of some ones head when they do or say something stupid.

2. Twat: Someone who is dumb or stupid.

3. Twat: Part of the female body that babies exit from.

I guess there are other words that have this same problem. Like when someone says they have tennis balls or a football or play baseball. No one really makes a fuss. Forget the sport part and just say balls and a snicker or two arises. Sometimes the snicker has those hidden smiles behind them like someone is talking dirty and you know it but are hiding it.

How do we explain these words to our children and grandchildren? If one is caught talking about this stuff to children, child services or the moral and legal police might get involved. So must we keep quiet and hope young Harry or Sylvia, young children with big eavedropping ears, tells our kids for us? In my case I had 5 older sisters and was the reference guide for many young boys my age who had a lot of questions. Little did they know I was as much in the dark as they but did have first hand knowledge of bras and girdles because of the secret clothes line in our bathroom.

So what words confuse or have confused you. Please list a few here and explain. There are people out there like me that really need to know.

Thanks.

Even words from our Spanish, Asian, European or Alien friends from outer space are welcome.

Sad? Dam!

In America we have the death penality in some states. We also have years and years of appeals so sometimes the criminal will die of old age before he actually recieves the death penalty. In fact usually the criminal gets a following, a spot on a television news show and a bunch of bloggers will write about this, now, wonderful criminal sensation.

In Iraq the Americans are now teaching democracy. Since Americans are fluent in democracy they know about the problems that have wormed into the democratic justice process. So we can now see that people in Iraq are learning the new and improved democratic judicial system. Whereas the old democratic policy was to hang 'em at dawn. The new and efficent democratic idea is to hang 'em fast, at night and before the holidays. Then put lots and lots of extra guards around the prision.

The best thing about this new experiment, in democratic justice. Is that the people making these new rules, can sit back and see how many dead guards around the prision it will cost, and how many dead civilians in Iraq will also die for this grand new idea in democracy. If indeed it is worth it.

Is it sad? Dam, not really. All new ideas and experiments will have adverse side effects. As long as we have a large military machine to back it up, what is it if a few dead foreigners or soldiers loose their lives? It is for a good cause, after all and I am sure notes will be taken.

The real problem is what do we do with those nasty people that make the world unsafe for not only democracy, but UN countries that deal in socialism, facism, dictatorships or comunism? Must we all watch these forms of governments that a person has risen up in.? Must we make sure a leader of his/her world only gets power at the expense of people just needing a paycheck and want to make it to work on time? Will all members of the UN approve that country as long as the rest of the world get a piece of the action?

When I grew up it was fashionable for "bad" or "evil" leaders to get justice by offing themselves or being hung upside down with their lovers. After all they deserved it because they caused wars in which thousands and millions of innocent people died. Come to think of it, History seems to show us that most leaders that start wars end up loosing their lives. Napoleon, a few Roman Emporers, Hitler, and some Empires that tried to make their backyard worlds wider. It is a good thing that no wars were ever started in the name of democracy! After all that is why God has always been on the side of democracy right?

So am I sad that they hung that guy? Sad? Dam no. Not for him, just a little for democracy. I just hope that the people celebrate the holidays and have fun. Plus I hope people all over the world can stay employed in jobs they like, get their paychecks, get to work on time and don't give up on democracy. Just keep a better eye on the ones that are trying to improve it.

God bless.

Happy 2007

I have been waiting for 2007 because 2006 was really bad. Not as bad as 2005, but it is up there in the top ten worst years of my life.

Not to say that the good times were absent. Oh! Yes there were good times. Just not as many as I would have liked. I lost a few friends that turned out not to be really true friends. I also found great friends that stood by me when I had troubles and gave me the support to continue to go on. I met new people and made new friends.

A young soldier I knew came back from Iraq. Before Iraq he was stationed in Afganistan. I am happy he is home safe. Which started a conversation among my friends, and his, that went like this, "If the draft in put back in place will President Bushes daughters names be on that list of future draftees?"

That is not what I really want to write about. I am sure many many people have lost people (friends) in their lives and found new ones or just appreciated the ones they have. No, what I want to talk about is what is usually on peoples minds right about now. You guessed it, those New Years Resolutions. I made up a few I know I can keep:

I RESOLVE TO:

Treat myself to ice cream for no real occasion.

Check out pretty women to exercise my eyes.

Use my imagination and pretend that I am my own reality show just for fun.

Make sure I go to at least one fast food place, like McDonalds or Burger King etc.

Go to the Mall and make a silly purchse that makes me feel good at least once.

Hug my grandchildren, my friends and any body else I feel needs a hug.

Spend time on my computer and just have fun.

Ride my motorcycle with my friends and enjoy the feeling I always get when I do it.

Believe in Aliens, ghosts and anything else I want to believe in.

Drink chocolate milk and make milk shakes with chocolate ice cream and whip cream when the mood calls for one.

Listen to music in my car or home and sing along with the tunes, or just sing even without music playing.

Only throw the finger once at drivers that make me mad. Twice if they really really make me mad.

These are just a few I KNOW I can keep. How about you? Let me know what resolutions you can think of that you will have no problem at all keeping.

I want I want I want!!!

For Christmas I want:

To know if there really are aliens in outer space visiting earth.

To know where the Rainbow is that has that pot of gold at the end of.

To be the perfect weight, forever.

To not have to depend on Viagria.

To have someone to not have to depend on Viagria with, preferably female.

To know if Jesus and Mary Magdeline were really married, and where are they living now so I can send them a wedding present.

To get healthy, lose weight, wealthy, win a big lottery, and wise, use my health and wealth to benefit my family and friends. In otherwords a big bath tub or spa thing and no more beer gut.

To be able to speak and understand all languages so I can freak out people that think I cannot speak or understand the language they are speaking.

To actually get the Christmas presents that people want.

To be with family and friends and take home lots and lots of leftover stuffing.

All wars to stop forever and all the soldiers come home.

To know what you want for Christmas and post it here.

Expansion

I have not written in awhile because I have been expanding my life. Actually the only thing that has really been expanding is my girth. I don't know why I picked the word girth? It just came to me.

I am reading more and trying to expand my mind. I bought the "DiVinci Code", paperback, and ended up watching the movie first. It was interesting to learn that the future children of Jesus and Mary could drive small cars backwards really well!

I still have not read the book but that is because I am reading "A Treasury of Royal Scandals". I have to admit those Royals and their Scandals are pretty interesting. I think the History Channel should have a Royal Scandal series. Before I read this I read "A Treasury of Great American Scandals." I am proud to report that American Scandals are just as good as the Royal ones in England. I must admit though American Scandals have less violent ends. Sometimes.

I have come to the conclusion that the Universe may be expanding and expanding but we humans have expansion limits. I mean the people that make jeans have a limit to how big the pant holes we put our legs in can be. There are larger sizes and they are called sweat pants. For some reason sweat pant sizes are limitless. I remember a time when people wore sweat pants for exercise. Now it is a fashion statement for the large person. I tend to go for the dark colors.

Hopefully my vacation is over and I can get back to blogging again. Since very few if any people read this I will not be under a lot of pressure. Still it is good to be back. At least for today.

After it is over.

When I die I want to be a ghost. I want to go to the light and all that stuff, but I want to be a ghost first. There are a few places I would like to haunt and a few people that would be fun to hang around and scare. I want to walk thru a few walls and stuff. I like this time of year and all the scarey stuff. I have been watching all the stories about hauntings on TV and I would like to be investigated. I would have a good time moving things around and being a ghost on TV. I would not be a bad ghost just kind of a mildly scarey one.

Being a ghost I would not have to worry about going to work to pay for rent or food and drink. I could take my time and enjoy the places I like without being rushed. There are places I could go to and not have to worry about bus schedules, or planes crashing, running out of gas, or the car breaking down and things like that.

I don't think I would hang around womens shower rooms, because I am kind of shy about stuff like that. I must admit I would peek though, just because. Which would probably keep me from going to the light.

Flying would be kind of fun. I think ghosts fly? If they can walk thru walls they should be able to fly. I would like to be a thin ghost. I am kind of heavy now and want to lose some pounds. I wonder if being a ghost I could pick the age I felt my best, thinnest and healthiest. Although if I was dead healthy would not be something I could be.

I would not want to hang around haunted houses that already have ghosts in them. From what I saw on TV I don't think I would get along with the really bad ghosts that killed people in their past lives. I would mostly hang around the people that just died naturally and became ghosts.

I might haunt the computer and scare the people that did not leave comments on my posts but that would not be ethical and I don't want to be that kind of ghost either.

Just in case though, let me know if you want to be a ghost too, or not. I promise I won't bother you after I am gone. Do you think a ghost can keep a promise?

Pictures we never see.

I went to my friends house today and saw a picture of their sons new baby. The picture was in black and white and showed a sleeping baby in his father's arms. That is all you could see was the sleeping baby cradled in arms. Just arms holding the baby like a hammock or a-rock-a-by baby in the tree tops. That's all.

I have also seen many many pictures that moved me and erupted feeling of happiness, sadness, joy and explosions of feelings surged thru my brain firing all those synapses that effect those experiences that fold into long lasting memories.

Yet! There are many pictures I shall never see and many feeling I shall never experience because there are vast visual images that shall never pass my eyes in my short life.

I also have a blind friend that feels experiences similiar to what a sighted person may experience. Sometimes the blind person has more intense feelings because of their disability.

What the sighted and blind person have in common is that the world has a vast library of experiences and it is impossible to acknowledge them all.

This all seems to come to me because I just turned 54. It seems the older I get the more I reflect on life.

What seems to be bothering me the most is that I am on high blood pressure pills and old people pills that effect ones intimate lifestyles. There is help for us old gentlemen and we can be aroused for a whole four hours with the right pill. This would have been good when I was in my late teens and early twenties but the women I date at this age in my life are more prone to game shows, and shopping for grandchildren. Forget spending four hours in bed except unless it is called a nap.

So in retrospect the best I can do is enjoy thought provoking pictures that have some sort of life meaning. Even Playboy type magazines are depressing because they could be my daughter or even granddaughters. Anyway I wandering at this computer typing way word thoughts.


It is the after birthday depression thing. Like a bad hangover it catches up with me. Best I can do is enjoy what I can and enjoy the naps.

Just for you.

Every now and then a pat on the back, a kiss on the cheek, or a job well done is a nice thing to get, feel and hear.

So today just for you.

I have a great pat on the back for you to get.

A big kiss on the cheek for you to feel.

A job well done for you to hear.

Be special today because you are.

What the heck, have a hug too!

Zoie

Her name is Zoie. I know because when I dreamed the dream I had, she was in it and told me that her name was Zoie, and spelled it Z-o-i-e.

She was a tall skinny blond haired woman between 20 and 40. I am bad with guessing ages. She had sandals on with dark colored striped socks. She also wore blue jeans and a kind of a white or ivory sweater shirt, plain. She wore thin glasses and her hair was in a pony tail. In my dream she was sitting at a table and I just had to ask her her name, she smiled and said Zoie and spelled her name for me. Then I woke up.

I had a strong urge to go get a Crispani Pizza at Panera. It is a bread and bun shop with wonderful bagels and breads etc. The Crispani Pizza is made only after 4 PM and I arrived there about 4:05 PM and ordered my Pizza, a mushroom one at that.
I also ordered a ice mocha and sat at a table to wait for my Pizza. As I sat there I noticed her. She was eating a sandwich and drinking something out of a huge white cup without a handle on it. It was Zoie. I could not believe it.

After she ate her sandwich she took out a small slip of blue contact paper and fashioned a small blue dog. I watched her quietly as she folded and creased the little paper into one of those Mexican looking dogs, which I cannot spell but is something like Chauwawa, but not Chewbacca.

When she was finished she stood it up, took her bowl or cup, and the tray she had with papers etc. on it and left the table. The little blue dog remained. I got up and gently picked up the dog and took it to her. I approached her and said. "You forgot this." She smiled looking very shy and shocked and mumbled, "oh or that is ok". I asked her if I could keep it and told her I would give it to my grandchildren. She smiled and nodded and I happly returned to my table and she walked out the door and drove away in her car. I think we both were glowing a little inside.

As I sat down I felt something special just happened and I could not put my finger on what it was until I held the little blue dog in my hand. For some reason that little blue dog became somewhat of magical thing to me. I decided to keep the little blue paper dog and it now sits ontop of my computer. It lookes like it is smiling and content where it is.

Thank you Zoie.

Not funny anymore.

Sometimes funny isn't funny anymore. It happened today.

For a long time everybody always had fun with George Bush. Comedy Central's the Daily Show, all the late night TV talk show hosts and even some of the daytime talk show hosts. Today that all seemed to change when that country that sells us oil in South America made fun of Georgie. Their President called him "The Devil and that George smelled of sulpher." I did not know that the Devil smelled of sulpher because I never met him. Apparently the South American President has first hand knowledge of what the devil smells like, or someone farted while he was speaking.

Anyway. I wonder did we all hit the point where we are tired of the Bush jokes, just like we are tired of wars, high gas prices and all other global woes?
I thought The Daily Show would have a good time with "Devil" Jokes and I thought the news media would be having fun with them too after the South American President made those remarks. I was wrong and no jokes were to follow. No real giggles, or chuckles, just a lot of sighs.

Today was like hearing the punch line first and then the same old joke followed. What does this mean? Is America not funny anymore? How many more Barry Manilow Jokes do we have to hear? How many chicken jokes, or lame one liners are left for us out there?

Hopefully a lot. Just not today. So maybe today America woke up and said. "No more Bush Bashing." Americans can only make fun of Americans, not South Americans or Mid Eastern or other countries. He is our President and we can only make fun of him best. So don't laugh on us. Unless we tell the joke.

Now that is funny. Or not. We just need someone new to make jokes about. Any volunteers? We can't be tired of laughing. I hope!

Once upon a discussion.....

There was once a discussion. It was about drugs. It was about drugs in America. It was about drugs in the world. It was about drugs and rock and roll. It ended up being a magazine. Which became a discussion in print. This magazine discussed drugs in America, around the world and drugs in rock and roll. Advertisers in this magazine paid lots and lots of money to have their ads in a magazine that discussed drugs. Why? Well it seems that people that do a lot of drugs also like to read. So the discussion became quite the party topic.

Then the discussion became an argument. Because of the Parties. Now they were not social parties where drugs were shared, or talked about while under the influence of the drug. Oh! Sex and Rock and Roll began to be big in these parties also. No no no these were not the parties that had the arguments about drugs. The Parties that did were political parties with political people.

The political parties started to read this magazine, that discussed drugs. These political discussions led them to learn a lot of wonderful drug things about drugs. So much in fact that these Party goers started to put ads in this drug filled discussion magazine. In fact these Parties started to send agents to validate these discussions and exploit the free market of drug ideas and other drug markets.

That is when the magazine evolved into a smoke filled screen of discussion. The people that liked to discuss the drug culture in this magazine never saw it coming. As long as the magazine was getting paid to advertise from all Parties who the hell really cared anyway.

Soon the all the cultures caught on. Now men read women discussions and women read magazines with men discussing things about themselves and their sex. A whole new world of learning opportunity opened up. Unfortunately the people that like to discuss terror did not publish their discussions in publications like, "The Terrorist Times" or the "Osama Weekly." Which is another subject all together.

So if one was gay and wanted a straight discussion they would read the "Straight Times" and if one were straight and wanted to read about an alternative lifestyle they would read the "Hi Gay Times." magazines. The people that discuss political things read each other party magazines also. Everyone can read about the people that have unpopular discussions at their parties and vice versa.

I use to attend a lot of the drug discussions myself in my younger days. Not so tody but I do attend a lot of meetings that discuss drugs, alcohol and God stuff.
Back in my earlied days I caught on to the drug and party discussions and arguments. So to find out for myself I joined the Coast Guard in the 70's.

Believe me now that was some discussion. Nixon's McHales Navy would be a good discussion to start. "Captains on Cocaine," a good article to write about. "American CIA Air" would have been a good advertisement and everyone was in agreement that drugs in America, around the world, and sex and Rock and Roll was a good discussion for all parites.

That is until disco.

This has been a Chumly Historical learning discussion. (Chumly History 101).

Who did where go?

Sleeping is not an option sometimes. I get to bed and am wide awake. So I make notes on what I can post on this blog. Here is a list of things I wrote down so I could write about them later.

Camping Wars/Civil War Armies.
Blog Education Mentos and Diet Coke.
Reincarnation - coming back as an Asian.
Philosopher.
Thought a though.
Who did where go?

The problem is I did think about each idea and fell asleep thinking about them. Now it is time to actually write these ideas down and I cannot remember why I wrote them and what did I come up with before I fell asleep.

I know that before I fell asleep I had great words and ideas to write and witty saying that lead to palpable paragraphs. As I sit here and reminiss about these great wonderful posts, I am missing the remin's.

The eating mento's and putting the chew in a diet soda cap and making a rocket. This I remember because I saw it on a blog. The coming back as an Asian person after I die and am reincarnated is kind of in my memory. I like the great buffets and food the Asian people have here in America. I would not mind being reincarnated and owning one of these fine establishments.

As for the rest it is a blur. Especially when I thought the thought who did where go? That one has really got me baffled. So the next time you cannot sleep please try to remember this post especially if you can't fall asleep. Try to think for me, "Who did where go?" If you come up with anything please let me know. I really would like to know who did where go. If who went where at all!

No Parking and I mean it!

How can there be peace in the world if two people can't even agree on who gets the parking space?

Ever go to park and you see a space, and then someone else gets there before you. It was a good space too. Close to the destination you wanted to go. Parking meter had time on it. It is the last space in the aisle or street and no one will block you in or park too close to you.

Some people have road rage others parking panic attacks after being slighted by a Parking Pirate. First the panic that some body else will get the space. Then there is the anger and rage because it was snatched away. There you are politely waiting for the car to vacate the space and you giving it room to back out and then....zoom....the Parking Pirate sneakes in and takes it. How do you react?

Israel, Palestine, Jordan, and Middle East mayhem and war. Is it over parking spaces?

In a way it is. It is over land. Who lives were and why? Who was there first? Who was there last?

Then there is the argument over oil and gas prices soaring up and up making transportation problems. Do high gas prices make the panic parkers more dangerous?
Do they make the Parking Pirates more aggressive, unethical and yes, immorial?
If this is the case maybe the United Nations should make a resolution to ban automobiles all together to solve this parking problem.

So, if people do not have cars they do not need parking spaces. Hence Peace in the world.

(Sigh) Unfortunately people do need some sort of transportation and will always need some place to park their horses, bikes, scooters, mules or whatever form of transport they need. Then they must get to that prize which is that Almighty Lottery Winning Prestine Parking Spot.

So the question remains. How can there be peace in the world if we can't even agree on who gets the parking space?

It's behind the Microsoft word......

I was going to cheat. I wrote something awhile ago in my daily thought diary in Microsoft word. I lost it all. Not my mind that went awhile ago also. As you can tell the word for this post is "awhile."

Isn't it something the way people hang on to words sometimes. Like the word "like." Do you know a "like" word person? Does the "like" word person say "like" a lot because deep down in some post traumatic after thought in their life they want to really be liked? Which brings me to the "really" person. We all have met one of them in our lives "really!"

Is it an ethnic thing? Like and really is that like, really a white American thing?

I am a white person. Polish, Irish and German descent stuck with the American citizen stigma because I was born in Pennsylvania, which also makes me a Yankee.

So if you are Black, Asian or Hispanic you probably know people that say other words a lot in your society or whatever. Does that bother you? It really doesn't bother me. You see, I am not good with names but remember a "like" or "really" person a longer time after I meet them more than I can rememeber their name. Sometimes irritating is a good memory tool.

I think I shall think about this "awhile!"

One second later.......

One day a person will ask a question. Then all of a sudden the world will end and the answer will never be heard. So I guess the question will never matter or need an answer to it, will it?

Anyway. Everyone seems to have some kind of problem that is bigger than anyone elses problem no matter what. It depends on the time the person and the situation.

Of course this is not what I want to write about either. It seems that I have not written a post for awhile and I am grasping at words and thoughts to try to make sense out of something for someone to read. Just in case they happen to stumble upon these words and thoughts because they are looking for something to read or do with some extra moments in their lives. Like you for instance. Hello! Thanks for reading this stuff. I really appreciate you taking the time. Leave a comment so I can read your posts and see how you came up with something for someone like me to read what you have to write, or say.

So..... I wonder what the last question in the world will be? I just hope it isn't this one.

Check, check and double checked

Leaving to visit my grandchildren in North Carolina.
Bought new swim suite for the pool - check.
Got all my old man medicine ready and filled - check.
Enough money in checking - check.
Motel reservations - check.
Car checked out for trip - check.
Mail to be picked up by friends - check.
Got maps and directions - check.
Rosary and prayer book, because you just never know - check.
KY Jelly in case I get lost in a canoe or raft on a stream with Burt Reynolds and he gets hurt and can't help me if I get kidnapped by a bunch of guys that play guitars and banjos in the woods - check.
Cell phone for emergencies - check.
Book on how to use cell phone for emergencies - check.
Tissues or extra toilet paper for those out of the way gas stations that never have the rolls filled - check.
GPS portable navigation hand held thing that I have been trying to figure out for the last 2 weeks and the only thing I learned was how to turn it on and off - check.
Packed clothes, razor, toothbrush etc. - check.
Checked out most beautiful full moon ever - check.
CD's and tapes for entertainment during long drive - check.
Water, snacks and stuff - check.
Full tank of gas - check.
Tools for emergencies and spare tire filled with air - check.
Got in car to start trip and car would not start and now I have to postpone the trip because I had to tow car to garage to get it fixed in morning - check and...........
Check Mate game over.

Of course we all love him.

I am not what one would consider a Christian Christian but I do like the guy. What bugs me is the lack of respect we have for him as a person. Jesus I mean. Take weddings for instance.

Jesus is my favorite person because he can change water into wine. I was an Alcoholic for years because I thought that is why he changed the water to wine in the first place. I was just waiting around for him to change the water to whiskey once in awhile. I drank whiskey and water because the soda and whiskey gave me hangovers.

Now consider that poor JC is always hanging around on that cross. Mindful of the great and wonderous thing that was, but I think it is about time we cut him a break and took him off the cross for awhile.

Like weddings for instance. Instead of having him hanging on the cross behind the bride and groom maybe we could dress him up all smiles and stuff like he was at the wedding feast in Caanan. He was probably looking good for that wedding and lets face it he had good times too. So maybe a picture of him waving a glass of wine in a toast like manner would be more wedding like then having him hang on the cross.

Baptisms too. These poor kids are being baptized underneath a guy on a cross, no wonder the kids cry. It isn't the water being pored on them, its the cross. So maybe we could have him in a picture with his mom or when he was telling the kids stories.

Now I am not trying to be blastfamous. I am just trying to make for a happier JC.
I love the guy and like I said most people love him. Can't we just be nice to him and remember that, yes there were good times and he wasn't being crucified all the time. When he comes back are we going to ask him to autograph the crucifixion pictures?

One more thing. Chocolate crosses should be banned from Easter Baskets. It's sick and there is no way a sane person should enjoy eating that chocolate.

Other than that, just happy memories. Nuff said.

Nighty eyes opened.

I Cannot seem to be able to sleep again. So here I sit and type letters hoping they make words that expand into sentences that will excite a thought somehow.

I wonder why wayward events make people famous and practice and hard work sometimes don't pay off. For instance how many people get cold feet and skip out on their marriages every day. Then that one day that woman does it and wins the national news lottery. She is famous all at once while some other poor Joan has been going to school, working hard, writes, creates etc. hoping to do something special to make the national news and ppphhhzzttt nada. Not saying that famous is good but it just happens to be not really planned.

What are the chances that one sperm and one egg in millions and billions of eggs and sperms ends up being someone like Paris Hilton. I don't think sperms and eggs have schools and do research and practice to get it right. I don't think that there are sperm and egg agents out there or producers doing casting calls for the proper egg and sperm matches.

Then again science may be making that happen more than I think. The roll of the dice so to speak is getting more and more predictable. Still that egg and sperm has to grow and become something, even if it is pre-bought, pre-programmed or pre-whatever.
So does that mean that the future will hold pre-lawyers and pre-actresses and pre-people? What will happen to the rest of sperm and egg hatchlings that just happen in paradise by the dashboard light so to speak? (Thank you Meatloaf).

Once born will there be a list? If you are not on that list then do you get the leftover jobs at McDonalds or in a factory or whatever?

Is the world just strange and getting more unpredictable or more predictable eveyday?

What got me thinking about this was this. I liked to smoke pot, maryjane, wacky weed, whatever when I was young. I was walking down the street in Boston, it was the late 70's, and I was nonchalantly smoking a joint, or reefer or whatever. Suddenly I became the center of attention for a bunch of tourists. They thought it was cool that here was a person in Boston, just walking down the street smoking a joint like it was a normal every day occurance. They got out of their car asked me to pose for some pictures and they took group pictures of me and them for friends and relatives so they could talk about who they saw in Boston, and what a cool town Boston was because you could walk down the street smoking a joint and nobody cared.

So there I was not trying to be famous, just myself enjoying a walk in Boston smoking my Mary J. Joint joyfully. I am sure there were people who lived in Boston that would have loved the attention and got their pictures taken, but no, these tourists wanted me. So who knows about fame.

Of course I was in my dress Coast Guard Uniform too, but not that that mattered either. It just happened. There I was being famous without trying. Such is life I guess.

Over ear?

I guess you might be able to brag about your bad day especially if it was the day you lost your ear while you were at the drive thru ATM bank machine.

My friend was on her way to get a coffee. She realized that she was a bit short on cash so she decided to go to the ATM drive thru. This is something hundreds of people do every day and something she has done hundreds of times herself. This is her story.

"I went to the ATM machine drive thru. I dropped my card and was too close to the machine to open the door so I pulled the car forward a little to clear the machine. I reached down and back to get the card. My foot came off the brake (My head was between the door and the door frame). The car rolled and the door closed on my head and began to squeeeezzzze my head because of a concrete pillar that was against it.
I struggled to get my head out and in the process tore my ear away from my head. When I got out of the door I was in a great deal of pain and in shock. Luckily I got the car in park before I rolled all the way out into the street. I started to cry out "Help me!" The next thing I remember was being in an ambulance on my way to the hospital with a neck brace, back board and IV."

Fortunately for her there was no skull fracture or brain damage. Although she insists that this is debateable. A plastic surgeon reattached her ear and made some repairs.

Her husband took her and her daughter on a vacation to the beach so she could rest for a few days. He drove.

Stepped in it again.

No matter where you go there it is. Sometimes you see it and sometimes you do not. It happens. We don't want it too but it does. It is suppose to be a healthy thing for all living things to do, and if it isn't done then that living entity could die. It would back up and muddle up the brain and implode. Yet! This is not what I want to write about.

I was thinking how relationships define our lives. When I rememeber part of my life I remember the Sandy Era or the Michelle Era. This is after the High School era. For some people College might be an era. I went part time to my local university and worked so my college era lasted about 25 years. Ok, so I took my time and after 20 years the school let me park for free, so it wasn't all bad.

I was just wondering how people define the parts of their past lives. I have a grown daughter so I had a few era's with her. The Grade school era, High School and College Era and now I am in the Grandchildren era. Three grandchild era's.

Now I am in my single and older era again. I moved so that was an era in an era. The past era I wrote in my journal was my "Living with the blind nun era." I have to admit that was some era.

How do you define your era's? Is it relationships, or places you lived? The times you were in school, different grades, classes or teachers? I wonder if there is a universal era type theme people use? I had a bar hopping era when I hung with my favorite bar room buddies and I played shuffle board. Mostly when I remember bits of my life it centers around a relationship I was having at the time.

Then of course there was the Coast Guard Era. That lasted 4 years. That was quite an era, I was attacked by a shark, arrested in Cuba by the Marines, and smuggled my ex-wife on a Coast Guard Bouy tender because she wanted a BBQ with the crew. Plus she wanted to get a ride on a Bouy tender.

The divorce era was kind of fun because I ended up with a Harley. My ex got remarried and I was invited to the wedding. I almost gave her away because her dad was angry with her for some reason. They made up the last minute and I didn't have to go. It was a good divorce. Everyone in my family voted for us to get divorced. I voted twice myself.

I had my Grateful Dead era. Which comes back in flashbacks once in awhile.

Anyway! How do you define your life's era's? It would be interesting to me if you would let me know. It could be a kind of a decision to have an era you want to remember or decide it is an era you would really not like to have had at all and make it none of my damn business. Which would make it something we would both not want to step into again.

Chasing the dogs tail.

I used to laugh at dogs chasing their tails until I realized how much we humans do it ourselves.

I recently moved and I had to notify my cable and phone company of the changes. Simply a simple job for Simply Chumly. I had thought. As you may well have surmised this did not go according to my plans but went according to the corporate and corporate employee plans for this consumer dog.

First I had to realize that my computer and cable TV would be rehooked up, not on my time, but when the Cable Company, called Adelphia in Scranton, which I should not really mention, but am,....! where was I........oh yeah! Not on my time or for my convience but for the convience of the cable company on their time. That is when I could get reconnected. The Adelphia people could not reconnect me on Friday the 28th of June, because they do not do cable hook ups in Dunmore on Friday. So I was scheduled for Monday the 3rd of July.

First bite of the tail missed.

The 3rd of July came and went and no Adelphia people were to arrive. I sauntered down to the cable company place and found out, from the service representative there, that they called my disconnected number to let me know that they rescheduled me. So
the service rep. and I decided that Wednesday the 5th of July would be nice, since the 4th was a holiday and considered also a high holy day of no cable connecting.

Second snip at the tail missed.

The 5th of July came and went and no Adelphia people. I called the main office and after 2 hours of cajoiling, threatening, and begging. I found that wimpering was the key to getting me rescheduled for Friday July 7th. I asked if they could come before 9 AM and Adelphia Management sternly said, "You will wait until 10 AM or we do not come out at all!"

Snapped and snapped missed the tail again.

They did mention that they could NOT make it on the 6th of July, Thursday, because they were booked and did NOT want to inconvience their customers by rescheduling THEM. It was also the time I remembered, But Hey! Didn't they say Friday's in Dunmore was a "no cable hook up no show day?"

This is the point were I forgot which tail I was chasing and what direction I was chasing it in.

Finally at 8:35 AM, on the 7th of July, AM the cable woman and her cable guy assistant in training showed up. She was a Garage Mechanic Calander Poster Material Gal, and most definetly the picture for the Month of July. She had on short shorts, long dirty blond hair, was young, both physically attributed in the right upper and lower places and was wearing her tool belt in a very provocative matter. I had forgotten all my past experiences with Adelphia. I was so enthralled by her presence I tipped her $6, all I had in my wallet at present because she didn't accept credit cards for tips.

SOLID bite of the tail with MAJOR pain shooting right thru my a.. ah! Anterior brain hole, so to speak.

The phone company well that is another story. Now, I just know Blog Dog will have a real colorful finger for them I could use!!!!!